On average, married couples wait 5 to 7 years to seek help from a therapist concerning their sexual relationship. Considering that the latter is such a sensitive issue, it’s not surprising that some couples choose to wait even longer. Unfortunately, by then, it’s usually already too late.
Think about it — can you recall the last time you’ve had sex with your partner? Perhaps you’re scared to tell your wife/husband that you haven’t been able to reach orgasm during intercourse and have been faking it for a while? Maybe you have a problem with erectile dysfunction, and you can’t bring yourself to discuss the matter with your partner?
Whatever the case, you shouldn’t wait to see a sex therapist when you know that there’s a problem. Otherwise, you might find that it is already too late, and your partner is just about ready to walk out of the door. There’s not much a sex therapist can do if one party feels so dejected and gives up on the relationship.
Of course, we’re not saying that more couples would stay together, and divorce rates plummet if only they’ve seen a sex therapist earlier; that wouldn’t be true. That said, sex therapy for married couples does help prevent marital relationships from falling out due to sex-related issues.
Consider the following signs that you and your partner need to see a sex therapist:
- You have deeply rooted issues that stem back from younger years that you haven’t overcome and now affect your marital relationship.
- Couples are fighting over the same problem over and over again without any resolution.
- There’s much tension in your relationship that you cannot discuss important issues with your partner.
- You stress that your partner might have some mental health issues affecting your relationship.
- There’s constant bickering that you don’t want to spend time alone with your partner.
- You dream about being single again or starting an affair or have been involved in one.
- You are unhappy with your marital relationship overall.
Of course, you can always adopt the “wait-and-see” approach first, especially if the issues are due to a big fight. In this case, you can implement changes in your relationship and see if it improves over time. That said, you don’t want to wait too long — six months should be enough before you consider seeing a sex therapist.
Working with a sex therapist might seem troublesome for couples. The most challenging part is admitting that they’re having trouble with their partners and unable to work things out. After all, you’re practically letting a stranger step in and see you at your lowest time as a couple.
It’s easy to think that sex therapy might not be worth the trouble. However, think of what can happen if you choose to do nothing — years of unhappiness, mental anguish, and despair, which will likely result in a divorce. If you don’t want to have to go through that and keep your family together, it is safe to say that getting help from a sex therapist is worth the shot.