“Elegance is innate. It has nothing to do with being well dressed. Elegance is refusal.”
Lately I find that I enjoy the company of discerning men and women more and more. The quiet self-confidence they exude, the gentle warmth they display, the relaxed and effortless way they carry themselves and the sense of laid back elegance they live by, all just seem to put me at ease. There is no competing for attention, no need to impress, no trying to hijack or run a conversation and not a trace of one-upmanship in sight. There are just lovely and lively exchanges, quality friendships, wonderful experiences, comfortable surroundings and a genuine appreciation for the value of a life that is built on quality, rather than one that is merely based on quantity.
However, that was not always the case. Although I’ve always been an admirer of urbane men and women, classically beautiful clothing and lovely homes, I also had a taste for overachievement, overconsumption and for just plain overdoing. At that time, I thought that being discerning was a certain type of snobbery, one that would make my life boring and would have me missing out on all that the world had to offer. I now understand that it’s just a different life philosophy; one that’s based on finding the things that fit, rather than trying to make everything fit, and that while living fast may be exciting and exhilarating, it can also be exhausting and, at times, very, very inelegant.
Still, it took me a long time to understand that I was actually holding myself back from the life, relationships and career I dreamt of because I was trying too hard to do and have too much, and to please far too many people. That, although counterintuitive, being more discerning would bring me more success, more lovely surroundings, fewer complications and more happiness than any amount of chasing (or even achieving) ever could.
So, that is why I’m now a very proud proponent of discernment, and of being discerning in all things. Because in having the courage to refuse to compromise on the company and the clothes that I keep, or in how I spend my money or my time, or in letting go of whatever simply no longer fits, I find a more and more beautiful life waiting for me, wherever I may go and whatever else I might choose to do.
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