1. Always act professionally, even when others do not

2. Wait until you are able to respond in an appropriate manner to any offensive email or voicemail…sleep on it, if you must

3. Return all messages within the same business day

4. Do what you say you’ll do, when you say you’ll do it

5. Avoid using inappropriate language

6. Understand that being well-mannered does not mean being weak

7. Remember that both parties must win in any negotiation for a partnership to be successful

8. Be smartly dressed, no matter what your position or industry

9. Mentor junior colleagues

10. Get to know those you work with, and leverage their strengths and talents

11. Deliver difficult messages directly, but kindly

12. Never raise your voice

13. Get to know your clients, and treat them with respect and honesty

14. Do the right thing, even when no one will know

15. Build personal rapport with clients and colleagues, including learning basic personal details, and treat them as human beings rather than a means to an end

16. When everyone else is panicking, remain calm

17. Never discuss or compare personal incomes

18. Accept business compliments and awards with grace and modesty

19. Thank others who have contributed to your success

20. Be grateful for opportunities to shine, rather than complaining about the extra work

21. Remember that your job performance is a reflection on you, your colleagues, and your firm

22. Be present, and devote yourself to the job at hand, and do the same when at home

23. Rise above office politics

24. Never speak ill of current or past employers

25. When interviewing for a new job, always focus on where you’d like to go, rather than on why you’re leaving your current position

26. Use business casual dress as a way to dress a bit more stylishly, not sloppily

27. If you are presenting in front of a group, wear a suit even if your audience is dressed casually

28. Don’t take yourself too seriously, and be able to laugh at your own foibles

29. Understand that every job and position is integral in making an enterprise successful, and rise to the occasion

30. Build good will by helping others every time you can

31. Don’t become territorial about your responsibilities, always have an image of how your role fits into the larger picture

32. Always do your utmost to make your manager and your firm look its best, and you will be a sought after commodity

33. Mobile phones should not be seen nor heard during business meetings

34. If an email exchange shows signs of becoming tense, pick up the phone and call the other party instead of continuing

35. Don’t hide behind technology, deliver difficult messages in person or via live phone call, never by email, voicemail or text

36. Never, ever burn a bridge

37. Be more inclined to give credit than to take it

38. When the going gets rough, look for solutions rather than focusing on the problems

39. Look for ways to do your job in the most efficient way it can be done

40. Be impeccably loyal to your firm

41. Always be honing your craft, and improving your performance

42. Stay on top of industry news, and always be learning

43. Don’t fall prey to the time wasters of email and office gossip

44. Avoid offensive and derogatory remarks or jokes, and generalisations of any sort

45. Smile more often

46. Don’t disclose intimate details about your health or personal life at work

47. Keep business attire elegantly simple, yet stylish

48. Accept common courtesies, such as a door being opened, with a simple and polite “thank you”

49. Be engaged

50. Be kind

51. Be inclusive

52. If you manage others, let them have control of their responsibilities

53. If you manage others, remember that your job comes with the responsibility of looking out for the best interests of your team, not the other way around

54. Manage conflict with others privately and respectfully

55. Act in a way at work that you would be proud for your children or your grandparents to see

56. Avoid wearing too much perfume or cologne

57. Learn to graciously say that someone else has a better idea

58. Be happy for the success of others

59. Be the kind of employee that you would like to hire

60. Be the kind of leader that you would like to work for

61. Help others achieve their golas

62. Protect your business reputation at all costs

63. Stay in touch with colleagues, don’t only phone when you need something

64. You don’t need to be friends with everyone you work with, but you must be able to build respectful partnerships with them

65. Send thank you notes to colleagues and clients where appropriate

66. Avoid being confrontational, and look for ways to build bridges instead

67. Always moderate ambition with a dash of restraint

68. Remember that remaining gracious under pressure is the hallmark of a true leader

69. Understand that sometimes slower is much more elegant than fast

70. Remember that it’s not what you say, but how you say it that matters

71. Insecurity and professional jealousy will only harm your own chances of success

72. Avoid being defensive, it shows a lack of self confidence

73. Join Toastmasters to become a more eloquent speaker

74. Be the model of business discretion, because you never know who might be listening

75. In word, in deed and in dress, if in doubt, don’t

76. Cultivate quiet self confidence, and remember that boastful behaviour is never elegant

77. When asking for a raise or promotion, do it respectfully and with documentation showing why it’s deserved

78. Dress for the position that you’d like to have

79. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem

80. Be certain you have your facts straight before speaking, otherwise let others know that it’s your opinion

81. Never steal another person’s idea

82. Give credit where credit is due, it will always put you in a better light

83. Never make up an answer, simply say “I don’t know, but I’ll find that answer for you.” and then make sure that you do

84. Whether you are a man or a woman, never underestimate the value of good manners in business

85. Be genuine

86. Embrace the new ideas and directions that your firm chooses

87. Be passionate

88. Have fun

89. Do a bit more than is expected

90. Encourage others

91. Read at least 6 books a year on business related topics

92. Apologize for a job done poorly, rather than making excuses

93. Cultivate solid decision making skills

94. Don’t be afraid to speak up with new ideas

95. Don’t allow hurt feelings to cloud business judgment

96. Always take the high road

97. Find productive ways to enjoy your job

98. Be someone who others look up to and respect

99. Learn how to behave in all different types of work environments

100. Always act with grace and dignity, and with a clear sense of ethics to guide you

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1. Teach them to respect others, by showing others respect ourselves

2. Place the same value on being well-mannered and kind that we do on being popular, wealthy, attractive, good at sports, or getting straight A’s

3. Read to them every night, and take the time to enjoy it

4. Teach them to have empathy by explaining how they’re actions might make others feel

5. Teach them to be kind to themselves in small ways (i.e. saying nice things about themselves, and their talents)

6. Help them to understand that it’s more important to be kind than it is to be right

7. Teach them how to have pride in their work by showing them the difference between just getting a job done, and doing a job well

8. Help them learn a sense of accomplishment by allowing them to do what they can for themselves

9. Help them learn how to entertain themselves without spending money

10. Be their parent first, and their friend second

11. Home should be set up as a benevolent monarchy, with firm ground rules, rather than as a democracy with young members that don’t yet understand all the ramifications of the decisions that must be made

12. Allow them to explain their views without judgment…they’re learning how to form opinions

13. Understand that shouting and harsh comments can be just as damaging as physical abuse

14. Understand that they are not miniature adults, but children that are still learning and who depend on us for gentle guidance

15. Make time everyday to do something fun with them, even if it’s just for half an hour

16. Understand that the natural state of the parent/child relationship is one of struggle, it’s their job to become independent of us

17. Know that as long as they are doing what we ask of them (making their bed, taking out the trash, doing their homework, cleaning their room, etc) it’s okay if they’re stomping and complaining as they’re doing it. It’s illogical to expect them to be thrilled to do tasks we all dislike.

18. Never make them feel as if they’re unwanted, or a bother

19. Encourage their curiosity

20. Encourage their interests, no matter how different they are from our own

21. Show them how to laugh at themselves, by being able to laugh at ourselves

22. Beginning at a very early age, teach them the value of money, and teach them how to save, invest and budget before they leave home

23. Say “yes” to them as often as possible…save “no” for things that are either wrong or unsafe, not for times that we just can’t be bothered

24. Don’t hover, or attend every single activity; let them learn to do things for their own enjoyment, not as a way to please others

25. Take an interest in their activities, and attend often

26. Talk to them about everything, including world events, but at their level of understanding and maturity

27. Instill in them a sense of good manners, and a sense of fun

28. Do not tolerate unkind behaviour toward others

29. Let them know that they can always disagree with us, as long as it’s done with respect

30. Encourage them to follow their dreams

31. Have a life of our own, so they don’t feel responsible for our happiness

32. Help them to believe that they can achieve anything, so long as they’re willing to pay the price

33. Let them know what the price might be for some of their dreams

34. Teach them the natural consequences of their actions by letting them experience those consequences

35. Protect them from games, television and movies that are not appropriate for their age or maturity level

36. Teach them gratitude

37. Remember that it’s our job to raise good, kind human beings; it’s their job to decide whether that good, kind human being will be a doctor, farmer, teacher, writer, etc

38. Don’t expect them to behave in ways that we do not (i.e. calm and polite when angry, tired or stressed)

39. Give them an example of a happy, committed relationship

40. Teach them that it is perfectly fine to feel angry, sad or hurt, but that it isn’t fine to hurt others or be mean just because we’re feeling angry, sad or hurt

41. Show them ways to self soothe when upset (have a friend over, phone a favourite aunt or grandparent, take a bubble bath and make bubble beards, etc)

42. Understand that shouting and screaming makes a parent seem crazy and out of control, and teaches our children that we cannot be trusted in stressful situations

43. Share our interests with them

44. Teach them healthy boundaries with others

45. Teach them how to be loyal

46. If they are cared for by others, be certain that they’re in a healthy, happy, loving environment

47. Teach them the value of good health habits

48. Be certain they get enough sleep

49. Occasionally let them stay up late

50. Have curfews

51. Occasionally let them stay out after curfew

52. Admit our mistakes

53. Apoligize when required

54. Tell them they are loved every day

55. Pass along religious practices and traditons

56. Understand that we are their primary role models, and be the person we’d like them to be

57. Teach them to be a conscious consumer

58. Teach them the difference between wanting and needing

59. Never use guilt as motivation

60. Welcome their friends into our homes, and on outings

61. Stop and really listen to them, in the same way we like being listened to

62. Eat at the dinner table, and encourage conversation

63. Don’t “shush” them too often

64. Let them laugh

65. Teach them that they alone are responsible for their behaviour, and don’t allow them to blame it on circumstances or on others

66. Happily help them with their homework

67. Remain calm when they are not

6. Help them to learn how to explain why they’re upset

69. When asking how their day was, don’t rush them for an answer, or answer for them. Just wait. Even if they only say “fine”…just wait. Sometimes they’ll open up after digesting the question, and their own thoughts.

70. If all else fails, take them for a walk and ask them how their day was, and then wait for the answer.

71. Never withhold love

72. Don’t give them all of the material things they ask for, even if we can afford it

73. Be sure they have plenty of physical activity, even when it’s inconvenient

74. Help at their school

75. Have family game nights

76. Give them a journal or diary to express their feelings freely

77. Praise them four times as often as you correct them

78. Let the little things go

79. Keep a baby book, or keepsake book, and read it every year on their birthday

80. Stop worrying, and understand that we can only do what we can do

81. Know that both nature and nurture go into the adult they will become

82. Stop working so many hours to buy them things, and give them the gift our our time instead

83. Slow down, and let them see us enjoy our own lives

84. Make sure they learn about art and music

85. Travel with them, and introduce them to other cultures, religions and customs

86. Take them to work with you, and explain what you do

87. At an appropriate age, give them something to care for (i.e. a dog, a fish, a plant)

88. Place a high value on education, not only as a way of making money but also for its own sake

89. Let them make mistakes, and don’t belittle them for it

90. Help them learn to correct the mistakes they do make

91. Surround them with interesting people, books and activities

92. Be a balanced parent, don’t overcompensate for our own childhood

93. Be more interested in them than we are in our friends or ourselves

94. Teach them to use technology intelligently, and with good manners (i.e. no cellular phones at the dinner table)

95. Be more interested in whether those they date are kind to them, instead of focusing on whether we like them or not

96. Make sure they know that stressful times have nothing to do with them (i.e. job loss, financial difficulties)

97. As they become a teenager, take on an advisor’s role while still steering

98. When they have a problem, ask them how they think they should solve it, rather than simply giving them the answer, then talk it through

99. Use the last few years that your child is at home to teach them how to manage their own time, money and behaviour

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1. Turn the PDA off as soon as you walk through your front door

2. Leave the PDA at home when you go on holiday, or have your hotel lock it up

3. Read and respond to email only twice a day, if anything is urgent they’ll phone you

4. Play more cards and board games

5. Have a garden, even if it’s only an herb garden on the window sill

6. Drive less; walk more

7. Slow down, and really enjoy your food

8. Read before bed

9. Ban fast food, and learn about slow food instead

10. Don’t eat in the car

11. Don’t work AT ALL on holiday

12. Don’t try to fill up every moment of silence

13. Do one thing at a time, and do it well

14. Set aside time to do nothing at all

15. Give up the notion that the world will come to a standstill if you miss a day of work

16. Give up the notion that being busy equals being important

17. Enroll your children in only one activity at a time

18. Move to the country, a village, or a small town

19. Be aware of what you’re doing (ie don’t arrive home not knowing how you got there)

20. Vacation at home, and give the stress of traveling a miss

21. Go on more bike rides

22. Spend more time with your grandparents

23. Give up on having it all, and doing it all

24. Listen more

25. Forget the past and the future, and live in the right now

26. Have more in-person conversations, and fewer via text or email

27. Own less, so that you’ll have less to maintain

28. Work fewer hours

29. Live within your means

30. Have a home you can afford

31. Have a lifestyle you can sustain

32. Notice the seasons changing, and the children growing

33. Learn how to just be

34. Give up on trying to impress others

35. Do less

36. Get to know your neighbours

37. Identify your time wasters, and banish them

38. Identify the things that matter to you, and take care of them before you expend your energy on less important matters

39. Set specific time aside for your partner and your children

40. Work and shop closer to home

41. Tell your children fairy tales

42. Stop offering to do everything for everyone else

43. Make a career out of something you truly enjoy

44. Be prepared to live on less

45. Change your thinking about how much you need

46. Stop trying to run other people’s lives

47. Learn to say “No”

48. Don’t feel guilty for saying no

49. Don’t let others make you feel obligated

50. Learn that fast is just an illusion

51. Break the addiction to multitasking

52. Stretch before getting out of bed in the morning

53. Stretch and meditate before going to bed in the evening

54. Identify the most important bits of your job, and do those to perfection

55. Don’t try to get to your destination more quickly by constantly changing traffic lanes, just take a deep breath and let it take how long it takes

56. Take pride in a job well done

57. Take pride in a day completely wasted

58. Incorporate working-out into activities with the family, rather than going to the gym alone then coming home to play with the kids

59. Have your kids practice their reading while you cook dinner, instead of them watching television or playing video games

60. Eat at the dinner table

61. Become an expert at daydreaming

62. Go on holidays that rejuvenate you, rather than those that exhaust you

63. Understand that planning could very well be a complete waste of time in many instances

64. Don’t succumb to the pressure to do more

65. Learn that just because you don’t want to pay the price that the job requires, it doesn’t mean that you can’t do the job

66. Take old-fashioned coffee breaks in the morning and afternoon, and leave the office for lunch

67. Be focused on your work when you are at your desk, and make the most of the time that you’re working

68. Enjoy the Elegance of Slow

69. Realize how few mistakes are made when you slow down just a bit

70. Realize how much more in control you feel when you slow down just a bit

71. Remember that not everything can be urgent, even if a message is marked as such

72. Don’t allow anyone else’s false sense of urgency to rub off on you

73. Learn that you’ll get more done by slowing down and getting to it, than you will by worrying about how you’re going to get it all done

74. Don’t confuse being busy with being productive at work

75. Delight in the rare occurrence of quiet, rather than thinking of something to do to fill up the time

76. Spend more time in hammocks

77. Don’t finish other people’s sentences, give them time to speak for themselves

78. Go for a walk with your children, and let them do all the talking

79. Make cookies from scratch

80. Avoid power, fame, or fortune

81. Stay grounded, even if you gain the above

82. Buy less, and reward old fashioned craftsmanship

83. Don’t give in to unreasonable demands on your time

84. Find the balance that works for you, and stick to it unapologetically

85. Cultivate hobbies that restore your creativity

86. Care more about your relationships with others than about career success

87. Redefine a successful life, outside of how the world defines it

88. Don’t be distracted by the latest trends in fashion, gadgets, or technology

89. Don’t be a slave to anything

90. Don’t be embarrassed to say that you’re satisfied with less

91. Don’t be embarrassed to say that you’d rather stay in on a Saturday night

92. Don’t be embarrassed to jump off the fast track

93. Don’t be embarrassed to stay home to raise the children

94. If you’re able, move to a country that values a slower pace of life

95. Learn to create peace within yourself, so that you aren’t swayed by outside chaos

96. Care about the world around you

97. Turn down the promotion if it threatens your slow

98. Don’t drive so fast that you miss the scenery

99. Study the slow movement

100. Be an intelligent optimist

photo credit: wellyproject

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

~Leonardo de Vinci

Due to the overwhelming popularity of 100 Ways to Uncomplicate Your Life, here’s the next edition of ways to make this complicated old world just a little bit more lovely and simple…

1. Believe that everything will turn out just fine in the end, because it usually does

2. Learn the basics of investing, so that you’re able to grow your wealth

3. Say exactly what you mean with kindness

4. Believe in something bigger than yourself

5. File your taxes promptly

6. Be a peacemaker, not a warmonger

7. Eat 5 servings of fruits and vegetables per day

8. Don’t confuse love with sex

9. Before making any major decision, sleep on it

10. Pray, meditate or reflect every day

11. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all

12. Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you

13. Find a reason to laugh every day

14. Teach your children about art, music, and literature

15. Teach your children how to save, invest and manage money

16. Don’t blame others for your situation

17. Accept that you can’t change anyone’s nature, including your own

18. Don’t be sad in order to make someone else happy

19. Don’t be less than you are to make someone else more comfortable

20. When you move to a new city or town, make friends quickly

21. Don’t harbour ill will towards authority for no valid reason

22. Don’t complain unless you have a solution

23. Make peace with your parents

24. Tell your young children “no” when necessary

25. All things in moderation

26. Buy white dishes that never go out of style

27. Take good care of yourself so that you’ll be able to do more for others

28. Understand that no one was put on this earth to make you happy

29. Allow others to make themselves happy

30. Be tolerant of other cultures, lifestyles, and religions

31. Don’t be defensive. Listen calmly to constructive criticism, act if it’s accurate, disagree politely if it isn’t.

32. Tell yourself the truth

33. Stop making negative comments about your body, your mind, or your beauty

34. Work harder on making the inside pretty, and less on making the outside pretty

35. Make due with what you have

36. Work to live, and live to eat

37. Fall madly, deeply, crazy in love, and don’t hold anything back

38. Take people at their word, until you’ve been shown that you can’t

39. Have your teeth cleaned every six months

40. Floss

41. Have a weekly date night with your partner

42. Don’t let your children become the center of your family; they need to begin their own life someday

43. Don’t make your children feel guilty for beginning their own life

44. Smile at others as often as possible

45. Be too busy to care what others think, but not too busy to care for others

46. Take the 100 Thing Challenge

47. Live by the phrase “vive le difference”

48. Be monogamous

49. Cry when you need to

50. Tell your children that you believe in them, and be their number one fan

51. Agree to disagree

52. Don’t try to control others, accept them instead

53. Don’t try to control the situation, accept it instead

54. Don’t let pride stand between you and something you want

55. Let your silly side out more often

56. Sit up straight

57. Stand up straight

58. Stay home and rest when you’re sick

59. Don’t pretend to be sick

60. Don’t drive when you’re tired

61. Do your best to make others feel comfortable

62. Don’t keep guns in your home

63. Set healthy boundaries with others

64. Be careful not to say something in anger that cannot be taken back

65. Learn to like yourself

66. Take responsibility for your actions, even if it’s embarassing

67. If you don’t know the answer to a question, say so

68. Learn how to find the answers to things you don’t know

69. Stop smoking

70. Break your addiction to your iPhone or Blackberry

71. Create a basic wardrobe of quality classics, and only buy what you need to replace what has worn out

72. Have your pets checked regularly by their vet, including their immunization records

73. Stop waiting

74. Start living

75. Write thank you notes

76. Don’t compare yourself to others

77. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem

78. Read more

79. Skip more

80. Remove the television from your bedroom

81. Be present more often

82. Be a human being, not a human doing

83. Don’t wait until it’s too late to tell someone that you love them

84. Laugh at yourself

85. Stay in touch with people that remind you where you came from

86. Don’t be ashamed of your upbringing

87. Stop thinking the world owes you something

88. Realize that you owe the world your best self

89. Honour your elders

90. Be careful not to become self-absorbed

91. Give up the belief that great wealth, great beauty, or great fame will make you happy. It won’t.

92. Learn what does make you truly, utterly, undeniably happy on a lasting basis

93. Give more than you get

94. Stop making excuses

95. Stop being angry at the world

96. Throw out the self help books and get on with it

97. Don’t over analyze

98. Realize that no one in your life is perfect, and neither are you

99. Let out a huge sigh of relief at that realization

100. See change as a lovely ending to a book you’ve just finished reading, and go out and find the next book

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1. Linger after a kiss

2. Sit in the quiet, no television and no radio, and just listen (This pairs very well with a cup of coffee before anyone else has gotten up in the morning)

3. Take your time making your bed, and enjoy when all of the pillows are just so

4. Walk more slowly, and look around you rather than straight ahead

5. Take all day to cook a fabulous meal from scratch, and enjoy every step

6. Leave the radio off in the car, and listen to your thoughts

7. Take your time getting dressed and putting on your makeup, and just anticipate the evening out

8. Take your child for a walk, ask them questions, and contemplate their answers without giving your own opinion

9. Practice il dolce far niente…the sweetness of doing nothing

10. Read The Precious Present

11. Revive the 6pm cocktail hour at home, and just relax while chatting with your partner or listening to jazz

12. Have a bedtime ritual that soothes and relaxes

13. When dusting, enjoy the feeling and weight of each item

14. Make a picnic for one, and take it to your private reflecting spot

15. Eat at the dinner table, rather than in front of the television, and taste each wonderful bite

16. Stay a little bit longer in the bathtub, and add some wonderful aromatherapy oil

17. Lazily stretch in bed when you first wake up

18. Go for an old fashioned Sunday afternoon drive

19. Invite friends over for a glass of wine on the terrace…even on a school night

20. Go to your nearest dog beach, or dog park, to be reminded about being absolutely present

21. Look for a four leaf clover

22. When your partner is snoring, think of how much you’d miss that snore if they weren’t with you anymore

23. Make eye contact with your partner across a crowded room, and wink

24. Make your own lovely arrangement of flowers, trimming and placing each stem perfectly

25. Read in bed before drifting off to sleep

26. Get a little table outside at a cafe for lunch during the workday, and use every single minute of your lunch break

27. Have only one bite of dessert, and let it fill your mouth with flavour

28. Watch you children, or partner, when they don’t know you are..especially when they’re laughing at a movie or television programme

29. Feel the bubbles in your Champagne tickle your tongue

30. Go to a cricket match, order a Pimm’s, and feel the sun on your face

31. Feel the fabric of each item you’re wearing today

32. People watch while you’re waiting for the train

33. How wonderful is a long drink of water when you’re very thirsty?

34. Relish the feeling of taking your makeup off before bed

35. Delight in the look of appreciation when you’re significant other sees you dressed to go out

36. Study wine tasting: it’s one of the best ways to learn to appreciate tastes and smells

37. Find the most scenic way to drive to work, even if it takes a few extra minutes

38. Stop rushing yourself, and practice The Elegance of Slow

39. Take up gardening, even if it’s flower pots on the terrace

40. Take up golf; it’s a lovely way to savour 4 hours outdoors with a friend

41. Stay in bed all day and watch old movies

42. Invite good friends over for dinner, and sit back and just listen to the conversation

43. Make snow cones on a warm summer’s day

44. Get a puppy

45. Window shop

46. Daydream

47. Read old letters and cards you’ve received

48. Enjoy the sound of rain

49. Enjoy the sound of birds singing

50. Enjoy the sound of your children singing, laughing or simply talking

51. Sleep in your loveliest nightgown

52. Decide how you’ll make right now perfect for yourself, or someone you love

53. Bundle up and go outside for a walk in the snow

54. Put on a sundress and sandals and enjoy a day outside in the sun

55. Splash in the puddles with your children, your dog or your spouse

56. Take complete joy in one thing that you’re truly grateful for

57. Learn to play a musical instrument

58. Luxuriate in the feeling of clean sheets

59. Appreciate your surroundings, wherever you are right now

60. Have lunch with the girls

61. Enjoy the feeling of working out, whether it’s yoga, running, lifting weights or swimming

62. Photograph the moment through your own eyes

63. Pour a nice glass of wine and reflect on this very minute

64. Savour a cup of coffee at a cafe in Paris

65. Close your eyes and listen to your favourite song

66. Stand on the edge of the surf, and enjoy the water lapping over your toes

67. Get a massage and let the world quietly drift away

68. Pay special attention to the details in your home

69. Take a walk in the country with a dog or a small child, and see everything they see

70. Take a walk in NYC and swim in all the sights, smells and sounds

71. Say a sincere “please” and “thank you” to clerks and waitstaff, and watch their reaction

72. Thrill to a finished project at work, before beginning the next one

73. Blow goodbye kisses

74. Listen to the crickets on a summer’s evening

75. Live somewhere you can see the stars again

76. When the traffic is bad, realize that you can’t do anything about it, turn up the radio, and sing

77. Make snow angels

78. Be the person others can count on to really listen

79. Have a game night, whether with family or friends

80. Stop and smell the roses…literally

81. Write proper letters

82. Enjoy a job well done

83. Visit a museum and take a seat in front of your favourite work of art

84. Appreciate a fine piece of furniture that was made by hand

85. Give your spouse a big kiss for doing the dishes

86. Cook together

87. Laugh at the silly things

88. Take a Sunday afternoon nap

89. Have margaritas with chips and guacamole for dinner

90. Play dress up with your daughter

91. Catch lightning bugs with your son

92. Make a candlelit dinner for two

93. Write a list of the things you like about you

94. Write a list of the things you like about your partner

95. Make a list of all the things you like

96. Spend some time in a hammock

97. Build a sandcastle, a snow man or a fort

98. Dance while you cook, clean or iron

99. Appreciate one cigar a year on your birthday

100. Be exactly where you are right now

photo~To Catch a Thief

The history of making New Year’s resolutions dates back to the ancient Babylonians, but it seems that with over 4000 years of experience we still aren’t any better at keeping those resolutions than our ancient predecessors. The topic has been widely researched, and yet no clear answers have emerged as to why we continue to do the things that we know aren’t good for us, or why we skip the things that we know will bring us immeasurable health, pleasure and joy.

We procrastinate. We date the wrong people. We smoke. We act irresponsibly with our finances. We curse. We skip workouts. We hold on to guilt, grudges, pain, envy and jealousy. We fight unfairly with those we care about. We act inelegantly, ungraciously and without manners. We let fear make our decisions for us. We overindulge in food, wine, work, the internet and shopping. And we do it over and over again.

These things may give us momentary comfort, protection, or even pleasure, but we know they aren’t the way to gain lasting happiness. So why do we do them anyway? Is it that we don’t really want to change? Is it because change is too difficult? Is it because the known is easier to fall back into? Or could it be that we just don’t stop to think about what we’re doing, and the consequences, while we’re doing it? Is the answer to keeping our New Year’s resolutions as simple as just becoming more aware?

There are so many teachings on slowing down, being mindful, savouring the moment, and living life on purpose, that perhaps the same applies to keeping our resolutions in the New Year. We’ve been poked and prodded so often into being religiously goal oriented, squeezing more in, and being more productive that we’ve completely forgotten that life is still a lovely journey. It’s also a journey that we’ll miss if we blink. Life isn’t a race to the finish, life is a journey full of individual moments meant to bring us tremendous delight. All that it requires are individual, purposeful actions intended to create the life we want.

Along those lines, I’m proposing a new strategy for resolutions this year. Perhaps if we make being more aware our one and only resolution for 2011, it will help us to make strides in other areas we’re working on, too. If we could practice awareness, then we’d be more mindful of what we’re eating, how we’re speaking to our loved ones and what joy we’re bringing to ourselves and others each day. To take it a step further, we could focus solely on being more aware for the first 30 days of the New Year, as all new habits take that long to incorporate into our lives, then the next month we could add in something else we’d like to work on. We could then use our new tool of being more aware to help us gain ground in eating more healthfully, or reading to our children each evening, etc. We could add a new resolution each month, making a year of mini resolutions all under the umbrella of our main resolution to be mindful. We’d have a New Year of monthly resolutions put into real practice, rather than one month of many New Year’s resolutions that fall by the wayside, and by the end of the year we can look back on a whole year of lovely.

Also, care should be taken not only to dispense with what we no longer want or need in our lives, but to make sure that we’re adding in the things that we do want to be part of our adventure, too. Otherwise, we’re left with a vacuum, and vacuums are too easily filled with what is comfortable. As an example, what will we do rather than smoke? Perhaps practice French, or take a long bath. What will we do rather than shop too much? Perhaps go on a picnic, or volunteer at a children’s hospital. What will we do rather than feeling sorry for ourselves, or envying others? Perhaps read an inspirational book, or write a list of what we’re grateful for in our journal. We’ll fill our lives with so many brilliant things that there is no longer room for the things that should be left out.

So as we close out this year, and look forward to the next, it’s time for contemplation and reflection, and it’s time for fresh starts and new beginnings. Maybe the perfect fresh start is to simply become more aware, as a way of not only keeping our resolutions, but of also enjoying as much of this wonderful, charming life we’ve been given as possible.

Who’s in for a whole year of lovely?

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1. Make a gingerbread house

2. Volunteer to serve dinner at a homeless shelter during the Christmas season

3. Go ahead, throw your first New Year’s Eve party

4. Along with a group of friends, adopt a family that needs help with clothing, blankets, gifts, dinner and a tree this season

5. Serve rose champagne rather than your normal wine at the holiday meal

6. Light dozens of candles

7. Put flowers in every room

8. String white twinkle lights on all the trees, both inside the house and outside in the garden/on the terrace

9. Make homemade marshmallows for your hot chocolate

10. Learn about another country’s, or religion’s, holiday tradition, and have a mini celebration in that style

11. Be certain that no friend or family member spends Christmas alone

12. Attend Midnight Mass

13. Attend the Fete Des Lumieres in Lyon, France

14. Make christmas candies, like divinity and fudge

15. Host a night of board games or cards, and serve coffee and dessert

16. Have friends over for a warm night of fondue and mulled wine

17. Go out for an evening of holiday light sightseeing in your favourite local neighbourhood

18. Invite friends to go caroling, and serve wassail and hot chocolate afterwards

19. Volunteer during the holidays at the local animal shelter, so that those that care for these lonely animals all year can have a break

20. Offer to babysit for friends, family or neighbours, so that young parents can have a holiday date night

21. Take the family away to a cabin in the snow for Christmas

22. Invite friends and family over for an old fashioned tree decorating party

23. Visit Harrod’s glorious food hall at Christmas time

24. Spend Christmas in New York City

25. Spend Christmas in Vienna

26. Spend Christmas at the Four Seasons Hotel in Budapest, and get bargain rates for a winter getaway

27. Spend Christmas in Paris

28. Play charades

29. Stay in, and have an intimate New Year’s Eve candlelit dinner for two

30. Take the children to a Christmas pantomime, or to the Nutcracker ballet

31. Host a Christmas Eve brunch for friends

32. Make black eyed peas on New Year’s Day for good luck all year long

33. Offer to take an elderly neighbour who doesn’t drive out to do their holiday shopping

34. Set a holiday table to be proud of, including cloth napkins

35. Give the children a holiday budget, and help them learn how to manage money when buying gifts

36. Stick to your own budget this season, so there aren’t any credit card disasters in January

37. Host a whiskey tasting party (fudge is the perfect compliment!)

38. Put together a holiday music playlist, featuring all the family members favourite holiday songs

39. Visit family members that you haven’t seen in years

40. Have a family holiday film festival, with each member choosing their favourite holiday movie to host one evening

41. Have a white elephant gift party for close friends, and share a laugh

42. Finally learn how to properly wrap a Christmas gift

43. Take a scrapbooking class, and make your parents’ holiday gift with their vintage family photos

44. Shovel your neighbour’s walk

45. As a family, choose a volunteer project for the New Year

46. Roast chestnuts

47. Have your carpets cleaned before the guests arrive

48. Make sure there’s always a fire in the fireplace

49. Bundle up, and go for a walk in the city at night

50. Read “Twas the Night Before Christmas” to the children on Christmas Eve

51. Open just one gift on Christmas Eve

52. Wake up early on Christmas morning, make a cup of coffee, and just sit in the quiet with your twinkling tree

53. Make a pecan pie, just like Nonie used to make

54. Make a list in your journal of all the blessings you’ve received this year

55. Have a small dinner party on New Year’s Eve, and invite your guests to stay overnight

56. Put Christmas tree lights on the house, just for the kids

57. Make a special memory with each member of your family

58. Deliver Meals on Wheels on Christmas Day, to those that are alone and homebound

59. As part of their gift, start a college savings fund for the younger members of your family

60. Give yourself the gift of optimism for the New Year this holiday season

61. Take loads of photographs, and post them online for the whole family to see

62. Go ice skating

63. Have a karaoke party with friends (the local Koreatown or Japantown often have private rooms for parties)

64. Use another time zone’s midnight, and host a party to celebrate ringing in the New Year in that city’s style (Los Angeles, NYC, Paris, Rio de Janiero)

65. Go black tie on New Year’s Eve

66. Serve your holiday dinner on Christmas Eve, so that you can enjoy Christmas Day (and the leftovers) with the family

67. Play outside with the children on Christmas afternoon

68. Go for a walk on Christmas afternoon

69. Spend a girl’s weekend in the city in early December, and finish all your holiday shopping together

70. Hang crystal drops on existing lighting fixtures, and elsewhere around the house, to catch the candlelight

71. Watch a New Year’s Day cricket match in South Africa

72. Make homemade Christmas pudding, with brandy butter

73. Make your own Christmas crackers

74. Make homemade pesto or tapenade to give as gifts

75. Be very grateful and gracious about EVERY gift you receive

76. Make time to quietly enjoy the holidays with your partner

77. Call your parents if you can’t spend the holidays with them

78. Be available to loved ones that are struggling through the holidays

79. Stock up on small gifts, for anyone you might have accidentally overlooked (especially children)

80. Remember what the season is about, and be kind and considerate to others while holiday shopping

81. Give antique poetry books as gifts. Tie with a simple piece of ribbon.

82. Give the gift of fine stationary and note cards

83. Find the perfect stocking stuffer for him

84. Find the perfect stocking stuffer for her

85. Find the perfect stocking stuffer for kids

86. Use the china

87. Toast each person around the table individually, with a special message just for them

88. Give the gift of forgiveness

89. Vow to set aside differences, and have harmonious holidays (bite your tongue, if you must)

90. Don’t forget thoughtful holiday gifts for those that make a difference all year long (delivery people, house cleaners, pet walkers, babysitters)

91. Don’t forget a gift for anyone that hosts you this season

92. Be sure to have vegetarian and sugar free choices at dinner for guests with health concerns

93. Cut out paper snowflakes

94. No excuses, send holiday cards

95. Don’t procrastinate, it will only bring unnecessary stress to a wonderful season

96. Make, or buy, only thoughtful gifts that are within your budget

97. Be certain to teach your children what the season really means to your family

98. Plant your winter bulbs, like daffodil and tulips

99. Start a window herb garden to use in holiday meals, and all winter long

100. Make sure to take the time to relax, reflect and savour the moment

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There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.

~Sophia Loren

1. Celebrate every birthday with friends, family and champagne!

2. Practice yoga, stretching or Pilates to stay flexible, and prevent the aches and stiffness that are often erroneously attributed to aging

3. Explore the new freedom and opportunity that every age brings

4. Wear your hair more naturally, both in style and colour

5. Avoid obvious plastic surgery

6. Spend lots of time around children to avoid becoming grumpy, and to be reminded of the joy there is in play

7. Take a new class

8. Wear less make-up

9. Quit smoking

10. Give up flirting, and be charming instead

11. Smile more, it’s an instant facelift

12. Travel often, especially to countries that embrace aging

13. Keep up your appearance

14. Walk everywhere

15. Finally learn how to overcome your personal demons

16. Accept that there never really was anyone else to blame

17. Forget what you’re “supposed to do”

18. Eat more salmon

19. Learn a foreign language now, to help stave off Alzheimer’s Disease later

20. Leave the dance club scene behind

21. Show less cleavage

22. Embrace your age, it’s much more attractive than trying to appear younger than you are

23. Mentor someone younger, it’s a great way to help one another understand a different generation

24. Eat dessert more often

25. Learn to really appreciate all of your experiences, both good and bad, for what they’ve brought to you

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26. Forget what everyone else wants you to be, and be what you want you to be

27. Learn the art of graciousness

28. Avoid gaining weight

29. Have regular facials

30. Write a memoir

31. Fall in love with you

32. Assign each laugh line/wrinkle a happy moment in your life that may have put it there, remember the moment rather than the wrinkle

33. Reduce your alcohol intake

34. Improve your calcium intake

35. Moisturize religiously

36. Drink more water

37. Get dressed up and go out at least once a week

38. Wear lovely lingerie

39. Find role models to follow

40. Set goals for 50, 55, 60 and beyond

41. Wear trends only as accessories

42. Get enough sleep

43. Accept and love your aging face and body (remember how you didn’t appreciate it in your 20s, and now you would die for that body?)

44. Find the balance between trying to look 20, and giving up on your appearance

45. Wear quality shoes, but avoid the sensible kind

46. Spend lots of time with friends

47. Don’t be afraid to fall in love again

48. Take proper vitamins and minerals

49. Don’t dress in a frumpy manner

50. Learn to tango

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51. Keep an air of mystery

52. See a nutritionist, and learn to eat for maximum energy

53. Splurge on cashmere

54. Do one thing every day that makes you laugh out loud

55. Avoid excessive sunbathing

56. The more ladylike you are now the better

57. Sleep on quality mattresses

58. Spend your money on taking better care of yourself, and looking good naturally, rather than trying to cover flaws/signs of aging

59. Don’t hunch over a computer/desk all day, take frequent breaks to stretch (to avoid it becoming permanent later)

60. Forgive yourself

61. Continue volunteering

62. Realize that you’re more than just a mother/grandmother, father/grandfather and live where you want to live

63. Now is the time to give up regrets, they’re too big a burden to carry gracefully

64. Remember that age does not give you the right to say whatever is on your mind, courtesy still counts

65. Never give up on your dreams

66. Keep dreaming new dreams

67. Drink champagne more often

68. Good news~you now have time for golf

69. And bubble baths

70. Make it look easy

71. Don’t mention menopause, or your varicose veins

72. Appreciate the wonder of your children and grandchildren, and their many talents

73. Reignite the love affair with your partner

74. Tell people about the good things in your life, rather than the aches and pains

75. Redecorate your bedroom

76. Learn how to swim the backstroke properly

77. Hold your head high, and stand as tall as possible

78. Remember that you aren’t your job, or title, and start planning a roaring retirement

79. Stop thinking about how fit you once were

80. Write a children’s book on the most important thing they should know

81. One word…exfoliate

82. Learn to love kitten heels and beautiful flats

83. Keep wearing lipstick

84. Learn how to make the family holiday meal on your own

85. Stop wearing mini-skirts

86. Less has never been more more than it is now

87. Don’t forget that you may be many people’s role model

88. Shower the people you love with love

89. Learn to arrange flowers

90. Stop worrying about tomorrow

91. Go for walks after dinner

92. Now is the time to use the good china

93. Tell your children how proud you are of them, and name the specific reasons why

94. Add weight bearing exercise to your routine for strong bones

95. Make a list of the inelegant things you’ve seen older people do, and don’t do them

96. Stop frowning

97. Take up a hobby you’ve always wanted to try

98. Keep working part-time, to stay active and challenged

99. Attempt one thing every year that you never thought you could do

100. Make your new goal to live to be 100, with health and happiness, and live life in a way to make it happen

Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.

~Coco Chanel

1. Don’t try to read other people’s minds

2. Get up 30 minutes earlier so that you don’t rush/get a ticket while driving too fast/have to explain why you’re late/get fired

3. Get 8 hours of sleep per night, so that you think more clearly

4. Stick to your budget

5. Start saving and investing every week, no matter how little you can spare

6. Balance your checkbook

7. Don’t try to be friends with everyone. Cultivate closer relationships with fewer people.

8. Don’t try to do business with everyone. Identify your target client and take very good care of them.

9. Before getting angry, ask yourself if it will really matter in 20 years

10. Focus on being a good person, not on pleasing others

11. Stay home this Saturday and finish off that nagging chore

12. Kiss and make up

13. Make a weekly menu, and shop for only those items at the market

14. Ask your grandparents the best way to uncomplicate life, and try it for a month

15. Fill up your gas tank when it’s half full

16. Don’t drink alcohol when you’re tired, sad, or mad

17. Pay your bills on time

18. Get an annual physical examination

19. Say “I love you” to your significant other and to your children. Studies show that more marriages last, and fewer kids use drugs, when these words are spoken every day.

20. For just one day, imagine everyone’s intentions are good because most people’s are

21. Give away clothes that haven’t been worn in two years

22. Throw out clothes that are in disrepair and that can’t be mended

23. When you have a conflict with someone, talk it out. Don’t let it turn into more than it is.

24. Know what your priorities are in life, and act as if they are your priorities

25. Tell the truth

26. Don’t cheat

27. Don’t steal

28. If you’re holding on to a ridiculous grudge, let it go

29. Clean your house weekly, so that it doesn’t become too large a chore

30. Do your best at work, or at school

31. Don’t eat when you aren’t hungry

32. Eat when you are hungry

33. Be yourself

34. Say no unapologetically

35. Cook simple meals

36. Don’t try to keep up with the Joneses

37. Pay off your car before buying a new one

38. Organise your desk at the office

39. Change your smoke alarm batteries when the clocks spring forward, and again when they fall back

40. Organise your important paperwork

41. Take only half the clothes that you planned to take with you on holiday

42. Help your children with their homework every night, and have an open dialogue with their teachers

43. Have white sheets and white towels in children’s rooms/bathrooms, because they’re easily bleached

44. Spend your time with nice people

45. Avoid drama

46. Don’t text or talk on the phone while driving

47. Turn off the television/video games/computer; they’re time consumers

48. Don’t engage in office politics

49. Refuse to gossip, or talk behind other people’s backs

50. Do the dishes right after dinner

51. Never go to sleep angry

52. Ask nicely for what you need and want

53. Walk 10,000 steps per day to help your heart

54. Do 20 push-ups before speaking in anger

55. Leave work at work

56. Don’t befriend anyone that isn’t trustworthy

57. Don’t envy others

58. Have your oil changed

59. Take vitamin C BEFORE you catch a cold

60. Don’t work more than 8 hours per day

61. Weed your garden weekly

62. Wash your car weekly

63. Have a spring cleaning month every year, and do one room at a time

64. You don’t need to be best friends with work colleagues, but build respectful partnerships

65. Don’t drink and drive

66. Don’t look for reasons to be angry or sad, look for reasons to be happy. You’ll always be able to find plenty of each.

67. Be friendly with your neighbours

68. Return emails and phone messages promptly

69. Schedule in free time

70. Don’t procrastinate

71. Do what you say you’ll do, when you say you’ll do it

72. Be more flexible when you’re able to be

73. Forgive and forget. End of story.

74. Break the consumerism habit…put a three month moratorium in place on buying anything not deemed a necessity

75. Start your diet on September 1, rather than January 1, so that you won’t also have holiday pounds to lose

76. Take care of any health issues or concerns

77. Have your tires rotated

78. Have your brakes checked

79. Have your eyes checked

80. Don’t let your imagination run away with you

81. Let go of perfection in others

82. Let go of perfection in yourself

83. Don’t try to help those that refuse to help themselves

84. Find a way to reduce your commute to work

85. Have an alloted amount of worry time per day/week, that you strictly abide by

86. Drink more water

87. Eat more salmon

88. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill

89. Wear your hair in a classic, easy to care for style

90. Finish what you start

91. Wear classic clothes and shoes that never go out of style

92. Create a daily routine

93. Have a 1, 5, 10 and 20 year plan for your financial and life goals

94. Slow down

95. Eat out less often

96. When you ask your husband which outfit looks best, thank him for his answer and wear the one he liked rather than focusing on why he didn’t like the other one

97. Allow your children to grow up

98. Clean out your garage, and donate anything that hasn’t been used in the past year

99. Stretch every day

100. If a relationship is over, let it go

This post has been featured on BlogHer and BellaMumma

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Slow is so much more elegant than fast. It’s all in the pure luxury of taking the time. Taking the time to enjoy a phone conversation rather than sending only vital information via text. Taking the time to sit out on the terrace with your cup of coffee in the morning, rather than gulping it in your car. Taking the time to talk to your children as they get ready for school, rather than barking orders and being angry when they practice the art of slow. It’s difficult to look serene when you’re harried. It’s difficult to be polite, and really listen to others, when you’re constantly pressed for time. It’s difficult to live in the moment when your mind is racing about all you must accomplish by the end of the day. Yes, slow is much more elegant than fast, and I’m quickly becoming a fan.

I’m not certain where the obsession with fast began, but somewhere along the way our society decided that being busy was a status symbol. After all, if we’re needed in eleven different places at once, then we must be important. If we’re busy all of the time, then we must be needed. We compete for the “Busiest Award” over cocktail party conversations. The mirage of busy, fools even the most well-lived among us. The problem is that fast is addictive. Fast is cool, fast is hip, fast is sexy. Worst of all, fast is easy. Fast is also misleading. Fast tricks you into thinking that you’re getting things done. It tricks you into believing that you have everything under control. Multi-tasking, the sister of fast, whispers in your ear that you can do even more if you’ll only split your attention.

Slow, on the other hand, can seem old fashioned, outdated and dull. It can have others think that you can’t keep up. It can make you feel as if you’re behind the times, and that you just can’t compete in today’s world of fast. Or so I thought, until I went geocaching with my work team and was taught the term “slower is faster”. We were taught to pay attention to clues and signs on the road, and to our instruction sheets. We were taught to listen to, and to consider, all of the team member’s opinions before dashing off with a half-baked plan. In other words, we were taught the value of slowing down. Slow helps you make fewer mistakes that must be corrected later. Slow helps you think more clearly. Slow enables you to make better decisions. If you just slow down a touch, you look more calm and in control, and you make those around you feel much more at ease. Slow tells you to listen to every word your partner is telling you about their day. Slow allows you to stop working at five o’clock for yoga class, even though there are three more presentations to build. At work, those that have a steady rhythm seem more in control than those that appear over worked, flustered and exasperated. Slow is the reason you sit and talk with your child while they’re in the bath, rather than doing the dinner dishes right this moment. Slow helps you remember the life you’re living and the day you’ve had too, rather than arriving home in your car without knowing how you got there. Slow doesn’t make you sweat.

To be fair, there are times we must all be quick. We have deadlines at work, split second decisions are sometimes required in life, and the train is never going to wait if we’re strolling through the terminal, but many times we’ve created situations that force us to rush. Pressing the snooze button one more time, and procrastinating on work projects come to mind. I see people spend all sorts of time on Facebook in the morning, and then they’re irritable as they rush out the door to get to work and school on time. The digital age that was intended to give us more time has been allowed to steal our time. It’s also stolen our human interactions, stolen our children’s time with us, and even stolen our lives in some cases.

Slow takes effort for most of us, though. After a lifetime of being told to hurry up, to squeeze more in to our day and to require more of others, it’s difficult to deprogram. Luckily, we can relearn what we lost as we grew up. It takes remembering the value of being present. That is the elegance of slow. If you watch children or dogs at play you see it. If you watch girlfriends having a long, leisurely lunch you see it. If you watch two people deep in conversation, and deeply in love you see it. There isn’t anywhere else they’d rather be, or anything else they’d rather be doing. There are resources available to help with regaining our slow. The Human Performance Institute, for example, teaches that stress is good and very necessary for our growth, but that rest, and being exactly where you are will help put fast back in its place. It’s marketed for those in the corporate world, but it’s essential for anyone wanting to find their true priorities and manage their energy to fulfill those priorities. In Praise of Slow is another resource dedicated to helping understand what the demands of today’s world do to us and to our children, and how to counteract the competitive pressure to be busy, busier, busiest.

As in everything, it’s all about moderation. It’s about knowing when you’ve gone too far and too deep into fast, and how to find your way back. It’s about having the yin of fast and exciting, balanced with the yang of slow and experiencing. It’s about having the luxury to take the time when you want to, and the ability to be present wherever you are. It’s about relearning the elegant art of living a complete life. Yes, you will probably accomplish less when you regain a bit of slow, but you’ll remember and enjoy and give quality time to more of the things you do keep on your priority list. You want to know the very best part of slowing down though? It’s that it’s absolutely free, and yet adds so much value to your life. So whether you’re strolling, basking, delighting, reveling, meandering, daydreaming, considering, wandering, savouring, relishing or just plain enjoying, slow down out there, and let me know how it goes.

Suggested reading~

The Power of Full Engagement

In Praise of Slow

The Precious Present

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