My grandfather used to say that we were born as smart as we’d ever be, and that we became less bright with age. I never understood what he meant, until today.

You see, when we’re born we see the world in an uncomplicated way. We know what we need, and we ask for it. We like nice people, and we don’t like mean people. We sleep when we’re tired, we eat when we’re hungry, and we stop eating when we’re full.

As we grow older, we eat and drink to cure loneliness, rather than calling a friend. We overwork to avoid close relationships, rather than finding people we can trust to form strong bonds with. We hold grudges, play games, spend more than we make, want things we don’t need, and we get too far away from our basic human needs. In other words, we complicate things.

Today, on what would have been my grandfather’s 88th birthday, I dedicate this list to my Papa. Thank you for everything. I finally get it.

1. Don’t try to read other people’s minds

2. Get up 30 minutes earlier so that you don’t rush/get a ticket while driving too fast/have to explain why you’re late/get fired

3. Get 8 hours of sleep per night so that you think more clearly

4. Stick to your budget

5. Start saving and investing every week, no matter how little you can spare

6. Balance your checkbook

7. Don’t try to be friends with everyone. Cultivate closer relationships with fewer people.

8. Don’t try to do business with everyone. Identify your target client and take very good care of them.

9. Before getting angry, ask yourself if it will really matter in 20 years

10. Focus on being a good person, not on pleasing others

11. Stay home this Saturday, and finish off that nagging chore that you need to finish

12. Kiss and make up

13. Make a weekly menu, and shop for only those items at the market

14. Ask your grandparents the best way to uncomplicate life, and try it for a month

15. Fill up your gas tank when it’s half full

16. Don’t drink alcohol when you’re tired, sad or mad

17. Pay your bills on time

18. Get an annual physical examination

19. Say “I love you” to your significant other and to your children. Studies show that more marriages last, and fewer kids use drugs, when these words are spoken every day.

20. For just one day, imagine everyone’s intentions are good because most people’s are

21. Give away clothes that haven’t been worn in two years

22. Throw out clothes that are in disrepair, and can’t be mended

23. When you have a conflict with someone, talk it out. Don’t let it turn into more than it is.

24. Know what your priorities are in life, and act as if they are your priorities

25. Tell the truth

26. Don’t cheat

27. Don’t steal

28. If you’re holding a ridiculous grudge, let it go

29. Clean your house weekly, so that it doesn’t become too large a chore

30. Do your best at work, or at school

31. Don’t eat when you aren’t humgry

32. Eat when you are hungry

33. Be yourself

34. Say no unapologetically

35. Cook simple meals

36. Don’t try to keep up with the Joneses

37. Pay off your car before buying a new one

38. Organise your desk at the office

39. Change your smoke alarm batteries when the clock springs forward, and when it falls back

40. Organise your important paperwork

41. Take only half the clothes that you planned to take with you on holiday

42. Help your children with their homework every night, and have an open dialogue with their teachers

43. Have white sheets and white towels in children’s rooms, because they’re easily bleached

44. Spend your time with nice people

45. Avoid drama

46. Don’t text or talk on the phone while driving

47. Turn off the television/video games/computer; they’re time consumers

48. Don’t engage in office politics

49. Refuse to gossip, or talk behind other people’s backs

50. Do the dishes right after dinner

51. Never go to sleep angry

52. Ask nicely for what you need and want

53. Walk 10,000 steps per day to help your heart

54. Do 20 push-ups before speaking in anger

55. Leave work at work

56. Don’t befriend anyone that isn’t trustworthy

57. Don’t envy others

58. Have your oil changed

59. Take vitamin C before you catch a cold

60. Don’t work more than 8 hours per day

61. Weed your garden weekly

62. Wash your car weekly

63. Have a spring cleaning month every year, and do one room at a time

64. You don’t need to be best friends with work colleagues, but build respectful partnerships

65. Don’t drink and drive

66. Don’t look for reasons to be angry or sad, look for reasons to be happy. You’ll always be able to find plenty of each.

67. Be friendly with your neighbours

68. Return emails and phone messages promptly

69. Schedule in free time

70. Don’t procrastinate

71. Do what you say you’ll do, when you say you’ll do it

72. Be more flexible when you’re able to be

73. Forgive and forget. End of story.

74. Break the consumerism habit…put a three month moratorium in place on buying anything not deemed a necessity

75. Start your diet on September 1, rather than January 1, so that you won’t also have holiday pounds to lose

76. Take care of any health issues or concerns

77. Have your tires rotated

78. Have your brakes checked

79. Have your eyes checked

80. Don’t let your imagination run away with you

81. Let go of perfection in others

82. Let go of perfection in yourself

83. Don’t try to help those that refuse to help themselves

84. Find a way to reduce your commute to work

85. Have an alloted amount of worry time per day/week, that you strictly abide by

86. Drink more water

87. Eat more salmon

88. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill

89. Wear your hair in a classic, easy to care for style

90. Finish what you start

91. Wear classic clothes and shoes that never go out of style

92. Create a daily routine

93. Have a 1, 5, 10 and 20 year plan for your financial and life goals

94. Slow down

95. Eat out less often

96. When you ask your husband which outfit looks best, thank him for his answer and wear the one he liked

97. Allow your children to grow up

98. Clean out your garage, and donate anything that hasn’t been used in the past year

99. Stretch every day

100. If a relationship is over, let it go

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1. Send thank you notes

2. Practice good posture

3. Speak more softly

4. Listen without interrupting

5. Wear solid colours

6. Ignore fads, or use them sparingly

7. Have a signature wine that you serve at home

8. Wear only 2-3 accessories

9. Have impeccable manners

10. Read on a variety of topics

11. Maintain a budget

12. Study the arts

13. Have one signature perfume/cologne

14. Show restraint in expressing anger

15. Learn the art of conversation

16. Learn French

17. Wear a trench coat

18. Learn how to wear a scarf

19. Wear a tuxedo when one is called for

20. Practice quality over quantity

21. Don’t yell or scream

22. Learn to dance the waltz

23. Have one fabulous signature meal you serve guests

24. Remember birthdays

25. Go on picnics

26. Wear dresses/suits more often, and on dates

27. Simplify your life, your home and your calendar

28. Wear pearls

29. Open the door for ladies

30. Let him open the door for you

31. Remember that it’s more important to be kind than to be right

32. Serve coffee or tea after meals

33. Arrive exactly on time

34. Don’t complain

35. Dress to travel

36. Be well travelled

37. Don’t wear black shoes between Memorial Day and Labor Day

38. Keep your home clean and uncluttered

39. Put a book they might enjoy, and a small pitcher of water and a glass on guest room nightstands when guests stay over

40. Learn how to host a small dinner party

41. Have one subdued solid colour scheme throughout your home, use accessories to add colour

42. Learn how to make a martini

43. Learn how to tie both a regular tie and a bow tie (whether you’re a man or a woman)

44. Be a lady or a gentleman at work, especially when delivering a difficult message or when tempers flare

45. Wear lovely/handsome hats

46. Don’t point out the mistakes of others

47. Wait your turn patiently

48. Don’t curse

49. Chew each bite 20 times

50. Sip your drink

51. Learn proper etiquette for all situations

52. Accept compliments graciously

53. Be quietly self confident

54. Don’t boast

55. Be respectful of others

56. Have fresh flowers in your home

57. Write a letter rather than send an email to those you love

58. Keep your nails well manicured

59. Maintain your shoes and clothing

60. Don’t ever lose your joie de vivre

61. Be well groomed

62. Remember that money does not equal elegance, nor is it necessary to be elegant

63. Wear less make-up

64. Wear well-fitting clothes

65. Spray lavender on your sheets

66. Be positive

67. Learn to politely say no

68. Be concerned with others feeling comfortable

69. Maintain good health

70. Don’t overindulge

71. Hold yourself to high standards

72. Turn your mobile off at dinner

73. Wear simple, classic hairstyles

74. Think before you speak or act. Ask yourself, can anything good come from this?

75. Apoligise sincerely

76. Have integrity

77. Don’t speak ill of others or gossip

78. Always take a gift to your host/hostess

79. Tie a scarf on your handbag

80. Take a clutch in the evening

81. Wear well fitting jeans with either a long sleeve white shirt or solid sweater for more casual events

82. Only wear sneakers for exercise

83. Use white sheets, white towels, white dishes

84. Be sure your clothes are ironed

85. Your car’s horn should say “pardon me, but do you see me?”, rather than “get out of my way!”

86. Overdo empathy

87. Light candles in your home

88. Go for walks in the park on Sunday

89. Give others sincere compliments

90. Understand your own worth

91. Learn how to open a bottle of champagne

92. Dress appropriately for the occasion

93. Do small favours for others

94. Say please and thank you

95. Take the time to stop and listen to others, especially children

96. Take responsibility for yourself and your own happiness

97. Keep a journal

98. Give thoughtful gifts, rather than expensive ones

99. Less is more

100. Savour the moment

Elegance is refusal. ~Coco Chanel

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I’m on my third lifetime. You may think I’m talking about reincarnation, but I’m not. I’m talking about one of the advantages to longer life expectancies, cheaper travel, more career mobility, and the move away from having just one career with one company during your lifetime. We no longer have to choose one career, one lifestyle or one place to live. We now have plenty of time to try them all on for size, and fashion a life and career that grows along with us.

For example, I’ve been a stay-at-home mom, had a corporate career, and have now embarked on a location independent profession. I’ve lived in Texas, Arizona, Southern California, Chicago, Florida and now the UK. Each part of my life has been wonderful, and each served a purpose in my personal growth, in my career and in my happiness. I would have become stagnant if I’d decided to do any one thing for my whole life. Not everyone needs to change everything in their life, but we all need to continue to grow and challenge ourselves, even if it’s in small ways. Just like our bodies adapt to a particular workout, and don’t get the same level of fitness out of it over time, our minds need new and varied experiences to ward off boredom, feelings of being left behind and even diseases like Alzheimer’s.

In addition, with the latest economic downturn, and the damage done to real estate and stock market portfolios, we may all need to work longer than we’d expected. Will we have to forget the world travel, the visits to grandkids, the golf, the volunteering, the cooking lessons, the motorcycling through Italy, and the piano lessons we had planned for retirement? No we won’t. We can build a lifestyle design career to help us fill in the gaps, and to transition into complete retirement once we’re no longer capable of working. This challenge and personal growth can even help us to stay young for much, much longer. Also, past generations retired at 65 because they were becoming incapable of working, with a life expectancy of only 68. They generally needed to save enough money to last 3-8 years. Today, with early retirement on everyone’s mind, the requirement of a fulfilling retirement, life expectancies soaring to 80+ and it being almost impossible to save enough money to last 25 or more years, a transitional career seems ideal. You can even use each phase of your career to be a stepping stone to that transitional career, if you plan properly.

The point is, finding the right lifestyle for you now does not lock you into that lifestyle or career forever. This may be the very best part of lifestyle design. We don’t have one life, we have many lives entwined to become one. Taking your needs, your wants and those of the important people in your life, you can fashion the life that works for you now, and that can ultimately lead to the life that will work for you in the future. So there’s no need to feel that life is passing you by if you can’t live or work from anywhere at this moment, and there’s no need to feel anxious if you can’t decide which lifestyle you’d like to try out first. Just choose the one your gut instinct is telling you to try, dive in, and enjoy it to the hilt. You’ll know when it’s time for a change, if it ever is. Then you can find the career and lifestyle that are the perfect fit for that part of your life. No decision is forever, unless you choose for it to be.

If you need help in beginning the process of lifestyle design, or you need ongoing coaching to build a long term plan, I’d love to discuss how I might be able to help you on your journey. I look forward to your comments on how many lifetimes you’ve lived, and what’s next on the horizon!

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Smile.

A black turtleneck looks great on anyone.

It’s always alright to be a lady, even in the toughest of businesses and during the toughest of times.

Help others.

Have a favourite poem to inspire you.

Pour everything you have into your work.

True style is in it’s simplicity.

Fall madly in love.

Laugh often.

Travel everywhere.

Dancing is the best way to stay fit.

Always wear lipstick.

Don’t let a difficult childhood prevent you from having a charmed life.

Pick the day. Enjoy it – to the hilt. The day as it comes. People as they come… The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present – and I don’t want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future.

Audrey Hepburn

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I really wanted to be a nomad. I could just imagine myself travelling from place to place for the rest of my life. It seemed so sexy, so hip. I wanted to put everything in storage and wander the world, carefree and without a plan, but it just isn’t me. I could continue doing it, but as I wrote in my most recent post, I have to be true to myself.

I now see my lifestyle either being simply location independent, with a home but travelling a significant amount of the time, and on a whim; or living a quarter/half of the year in one spot, and then planning my next long-term destination.

For me, the nomadic lifestyle just doesn’t feed my soul, and here are the reasons why:

1. I like my home~It doesn’t have to be where I live now, nor does it have to be the same place year round, but I like living in a home. I like putting on some jazz, pouring a glass of wine and cooking dinner. Nothing beats that.

2. I like having close friends~I enjoy meeting new people, and I’ve made lifelong friends on this past trip, but I enjoy deep friendships. That’s easier done when you stick around.

3. I missed my shoes (and bags, and makeup, and golf clubs, and Juicy sweats)~Living out of one suitcase is fun on holiday, but brutal when you have an unexpected wedding to attend, or the seasons begin to change. There simply isn’t enough room for the things that I consider creature comforts. I’m not the kind of girl that can’t go without make-up, or high heels either. It’s just that the same five to seven outfits became quite boring to me. I’ve learned that one of the ways I express my creativity is through what I wear, and I missed that.

4. I need to be challenged by my work~I like, enjoy, crave, ADORE working. There I’ve said it, and I’m happy to have rediscovered my passion during these past six months. I need work to challenge me in a way that nothing else can. Some people achieve this through rock climbing, cycling to the Ashes, or running marathons, but I accomplish it through my work. My problem with being a nomad was that I simply couldn’t master the working while being constantly on the move. I’m too easily distracted, and I came to understand that about myself.

5. I’d like to have a significant relationship~One of the most lovely discoveries of this trip was in the area of my love life. I hadn’t realized that it was so out of balance. Luckily, I have friends that will call me out when I need it, and they made me see that I was missing out on something wonderful by not allowing myself to become involved. There are a myriad of excuses I could give for it, but the bottom line is that I wasn’t living as “arms wide open” in this part of my life. I also understand, that like friendships, you have to be around to have a strong significant relationship.

I’m so happy that I’ve had the past six months to explore the possibility of the nomadic lifestyle. I’ve come away with a deep admiration for those that sustain this life for long periods of time. I’ve also gotten very clear on the fact that lifestyle design isn’t only about the fantasy, it’s also about the realities. Every lifestyle has its pros and cons, and I’m still looking for the one that suits me best. I don’t know what the right balance will be, but I continue on with my happy experiment. After all, isn’t the journey half the fun?

Flickr credit~phototristan

What do these things have in common, you might ask? The answer is ME. This is a partial list of the things I enjoy. You could also add fast cars, work, golf, economics, sushi, romance, a great steak, art museums, helping others reach their dreams, the Los Angeles Lakers, writing, tulips, a sarong on a beach anywhere in the world, a good cigar, the ballet and books. It doesn’t really matter what the list is, or who’s list it is. This is about being true to all the pieces of oneself, especially as it involves lifestyle design. We each have an assortment of pieces that make up the whole, and it’s uniquely our own. There is no one with the same set of gifts, challenges, interests, eccentricities, or bad habits. So it follows, that each person’s ideal lifestyle will be unique too, and that’s the most wonderful thing about lifestyle design. You are allowed to be you. You MUST be you. If you don’t consider all of your talents, you’ll end up with a lifestyle that isn’t designed for you at all. You, and only you, can define what lifestyle design means in your life.

Many of us have pieces of ourselves that we enjoy, and others that we try to overcome or hide. There have been people in our lives that have enjoyed only certain parts of us, too. They may have even spent a great deal of time trying to fix, or change, the bits they didn’t find attractive, but that just isn’t possible. We are each an anomaly. We each have pieces that don’t “fit” with the overall image we may have of ourselves, or that others have of us, but once we come to realise how wonderful that is, we can go about the business of building a life that is as unique as we are. We can build amazing lifestyles that have us globetrotting with our children tagging along behind us, or being a consultant moving around the globe, or being a virtual assistant working from home so that we can get to each and every little league practice, or becoming a martial arts champion in Hong Kong, or working corporate jobs while training for marathons, or writing about cricket in glorious sunny places, or working at coffee houses while struggling to be published. The point is, once you understand that all of the pieces of you must be honoured to make a truly happy life, you can go about the business of building that brilliant life.

In the very wise words (which I now understand) of one of my mentors Peggy,“Be who you are and see who shows up!”. I now understand that this means that when I’m finally true to myself, everything else will fall into place. The right career (be it corporate or entrepreneurial), deep friendships, interesting hobbies, and true love will be able to make a home in my life. All they’re waiting for is me. As long as I’m trying to make things fit, or trying to make myself fit things, it simply can’t happen.

I hope that you’re being true to all parts of you, and I can’t wait to see your list of what makes you, you in the comment section below. As always, I wish you each a very charmed life!

Flickr credit~markusran

I’ve been overwhelmed by the sudden appearance of so much good in my life. It’s almost as if a flood gate has been opened, and I began to wonder why. Was it something to do with the topic of my recent blog post Live the Charmed Life: Lesson One~Letting Go of the Fear? Could a life change that much just by moving fear out of the way? Or was that only a first step that created a vacuum that needed to be filled?

I started thinking about the successful areas of my life, as I began to wonder if there were some sort of common historical denominator to explain what had begun to happen. My career has always been a strong point for me, my friendships have been glorious, and my adult children, grandson and I enjoy a lovely relationship. I’m happily quite healthy now, and I’ve been successful at athletics most of my life. What had I done differently there? It suddenly occurred to me that I had EXPECTED good things to happen in those areas of my life. It simply had never entered my mind that I wouldn’t have happy endings. I want to point out that the success I had wasn’t always exactly what I had planned. You can call it luck, kismet, or being charmed, but many times things happened that had been much better than what I could have ever wished for. I believe they were brought about by my positive thoughts and actions, as I expected wonderful things. As these good things happened, it only served to reinforce my belief that all would be well.

On the other side of the coin, the recent post about letting go of fear was the culmination of several difficult years in an often difficult life, and some of the lessons I’ve learned through loss. When I look back at the things that I lost, and there were so many in a very short period of time, I also see trends. I have a sense now that my actions actually helped create some of the loss. The best comparisons I can draw are the fearful skier, who by tensing up actually causes herself to fall, or the golfer that is so focused on a water hazard, that it’s as if their ball is magnetically drawn there. Every time a loss, or a difficulty, arose it only proved that I was incapable in those areas. At least that was what my mind had me believe.

I know this is a fascinating topic with many theories, and I’ve been asked if I believe it’s positive thinking, your religious beliefs, the Law of Attraction, self fulfilling prophecy or simple faith; and my answer is yes. Yes, I believe all of these things go in to creating the life you have. I believe that cynical, pessimistic or fearful thoughts have you act in a way that has those around you react in exactly the way you expect, and has you do things that aren’t conducive to living a fearless life; and that optimistic, positive, loving thoughts and actions help others to react in a delightful and helpful way, and allow you to do what you need to do, without the crippling fear of failure. This isn’t to say that no rain will fall, that there will be no more disappointments, loss or hardship. It only means that I’m now looking for the reasons all will work out well, rather than looking for the reasons that it won’t.

I look forward to your comments, and I wish you each a very charmed life!

DeeAnne

Flickr credit~Mugley

I was very honoured to be asked recently for some career advice by a young man just entering my industry. The first piece of advice I gave him was to find a mentor he could consistently check in with. I’ve been extremely fortunate to have had great coaches and mentors throughout my career.  They’ve given me advice, picked me up and dusted me off when I was down, and they’ve also given me a good solid shove when I wouldn’t take a necessary leap.

You could even suggest that your company start a mentoring program, if you don’t already have one in place. You can point out that these programs tend to encourage more of a team atmosphere, and also help reduce employee turnover, as an incentive for your employer to begin a mentor group. If positioned properly, they can even help develop future management candidates. If you’re an entrepreneur, you’ll need to find a coach on your own, and this is usually best done through business networking organizations.Whether you’re self-employed, or you work in a corporate environment, you could also hire an executive or life coach to help you design your path. In the meantime, I’m sharing the same five tips I gave to my friend, as they were passed on to me by my mentors. As I told him, these are the guiding principles that have kept me pointed in the right direction, and have also helped me to right the ship when I was struggling.

1. Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life. ~George Burns I know, I know. I told you they were overused, but this one makes more and more sense to me every year. Don’t get me wrong, I completely agree with John Bardos at JetSetCitizen that nothing is perfect, and I think many people use finding their passion as an excuse not to get down to business. I believe that if you loved every minute of a job, they’d call it a hobby and you wouldn’t be paid for it. If you’ve found the sort of career that fulfills you every minute, and you’re paid handsomely to do it, then you should hold on tight with both hands. However, I also believe that if you have passion for what you do then it will be noticed, the odds of your success will increase, and you won’t mind the annoying points quite so much. Worst case scenario, you’ll enjoy going to work most days, even if you don’t make millions, and that is one of the tenants that lifestyle design is built on.

2. All you have is your reputation. This is career law number one, and I’ve used it once before in my post on staying connected to your clients. Do what you say you’ll do, when you say you’ll do it, and always do the right thing. We’ve all seen companies come and go, and fortunes rise and fall, but you will always be accountable for your words and actions.  This includes not working for a firm that you don’t believe in, and don’t lower yourself to unethical practices. The immediate fame or fortune that you earn are not worth the long term effects on your career, and there’s nothing that beats being able to look yourself in the mirror.

3. Don’t let yourself get promoted right out of what you love doing. You see this happen in all fields, at all corporate levels. Someone succeeds in sales, for instance, and this is immediately taken to mean they should be promoted to management. In reality, those positions require very different skill sets. Some people are blessed with both, some only one or the other. Know yourself, know what your talents are, and know that your true success will be in being the best you can be at those skills. Don’t let the outside world convince you that you’re making a mistake by not taking the promotion. Sometimes the most important career skill to learn is when to say “no thank you”.

4. Don’t try to be a man in a skirt. Okay, so you haven’t heard this one, especially if you’re a man, but the underlying meaning is to be yourself. For years there was an extremely successful person in my industry that I tried to emulate. It did me no good at all. Not only was I a poor imitation of him, but I was diluting my abilities as well. The world specifically needs someone just like you, and there is only one you. Be the absolute best version of you that you can be, too. Practice “Personal Best” at all times.

5. Help others, and be well mannered. This wasn’t advice from a career mentor, but it was my grandmother’s only requirement of me. Although it’s atypical professional advice, I attribute most of my career happiness, and a great deal of my success to this one rule. We all know that people like doing business with people they like, but what isn’t often understood is how good it feels just to be nice and to help. I also want to leave the business world the same way I came in; with hope, optimism and a clear conscience, and without bitterness or regret. Some of the side effects of this guideline are: an even better business reputation, a willingness by others to help you in return, less job stress, and an unusually high number of people wanting to work with you because they know you’ll help them succeed in any way you can. One of the most successful business owners I ever worked for was also known as the nicest, most well mannered businessman in the industry. We did everything on a handshake, and he restored my faith in the idea that you can be a good person, and yet be overwhelmingly successful.

One last thought on the coaching recommendation. It’s never too late to find a mentor. Whether it’s late in your career, late in your life, or you’ve simply started yet another new job; a coach or mentor can work miracles in helping you continue to learn. I’ve recently found a mentor to help with my new writing career, and once again I’m seeing things with a fresh perspective, and with a much clearer understanding of the craft.

As always, my very best wishes to you for a charmed life and career, and I look forward to your comments!

Flickr credit oooh.oooh.

This is the second installment of staying in contact while travelling, and I’ll be sharing the ways I maintain client relationships while on the road.  The point I remember is that I have very little in the way of product or services that differentiate me, so the key to my business being successful are the relationships I have with my clients. I especially believe that if I’m able to keep the human touch in this digital age, that I will be rewarded for the effort it requires.

These ideas are basic, and you can easily build on them, but when asked what fancy plays Vince Lombardi would be teaching his new team, the great American coach said he’d be “ensuring they were brilliant at the basics.” They went on to greatness, and doing a few basic things has always helped my business relationships thrive, as well. I’ve been a travelling professional for the past twelve years, spending most weeks on the road, with either my car, an airline club or a hotel having been my office, but day in and day out the people I’ve seen succeed were the ones that could perform the basics without fail.

Here are my big six:

1. Set expectations with new clients – I’ve found that letting one another know what is expected at the beginning of a client partnership can prevent most problems from ever arising. How quickly will I respond to email for example, or voicemail? Same business day is my standard, but maybe within 24 hours fits your style or your time zone challenges? I keep complete notes on what I’ve agreed to, and then I hold myself to that agreement.

2. I do what I say I’ll do, when I say I’ll do it – I realize this shouldn’t even need to be mentioned, but I’ve found it to be the most important and least exercised rule in business. I was once told that I was given a mid six figure deal because I was the only one that returned the client’s call, and followed through. I never forget that.

3. Set up contact rotations – The first step I take is to classify my clients as Platinum, Gold or Silver, in relation to how important they are to my business. I next use a contact management system to schedule various activities to bring value to my clients on a regular basis to effectively “competitor” proof my business. These activities can include marketing campaigns on a new service I offer, a thank you gift containing something unique to their interests (special coffee beans, surf magazine subscription, etc), an email with information pertinent to their business, a phone call to wish them a happy business anniversary, etc.  The frequency of contact depends on how important they are to my business, and on my client’s needs and expectations. My rotation is once a month for Platinum clients, every other month for Gold clients and quarterly for Silver clients.

4. Ensure connectivity and/or phone capabilities – As a travelling professional, or location independent worker, I am very susceptible to technical glitches. My clients may understand one missed call, but problems on a regular basis are unprofessional and will cause me to lose credibility. A new wrinkle came up this past week, when my laptop crashed, and I learned there was no Apple store in Paris. I’ve now added a day in each new location for a “professional checklist” to be completed. This includes connectivity evaluations, landline/cellular/skype tests and now an assessment of computer service/accessories stores and their locations. While it may be my passion to work remotely, my client has the right to expect the same high caliber results they would get from my non-remote competition.

5. Keep the client up to date on the status of any questions or projects – I always over communicate on any client questions, or project status updates. Even if I don’t have the answer yet, I call to tell them I’m still working on it. If I have a project underway, I send brief emails with any new updates that are important. I try to remember that I’ve never lost a client over a delay, but I have lost clients when they didn’t know what was going on.

6. Be memorable. I try to be as different from the competition, or memorable, as possible. One of the best resources for learning to be memorable is Rob Shore, founder of Shorespeak and innovator of the MQ. He has been a trusted mentor, coach and friend for almost twenty years, and brings a keen perception to making the most of your unique business skill set. My niche was in thoroughly enjoying getting to know people, so once I found some interest that was unique to them, I stored it in their profile for contact customization. For example, something as simple as Dunkin Donut coffee beans meant more to one California client, who was a native of Boston, than I could have ever imagined.

As I said, these are very basic methods of building and maintaining relationships that have served me well throughout my career, and they’re transferable to any industry. They also fit traditional working environments, travelling professionals and the location independent businessperson. I hope there is a nugget in here to help you, and please post comments and questions that you think will help in the discussion.

I wish you great success in your business relationships!

Flickr credit cayusa

I’m a big believer in daydreaming. I know many people are, but I’m a raving fan. The medical community has long been an advocate of its positive effects, but I popped the bubbly when the scientific community came out in support of daydreaming. The reason is simple. Daydreaming is when the big ideas, and solutions to nagging problems, come to me. I don’t mean a gentle idea blooming slowly like a flower. It’s more like a shooting star that’s so obvious I can’t help but stare in amazement.

My prime daydreaming time is first thing in the morning. There is no television, or even music, turned on first thing in my home. I make myself coffee, and sit in the only absolute quiet I can depend on. Just me and my thoughts. It’s another of my simple pleasures, and one that has been invaluable to me.

Today was no different. I began the day with a bit of yoga, then made my coffee. I went outside to the lanai, to enjoy the clean smell of the morning after a night of thunderstorms. As I sipped, I let my mind wander. What do I need to accomplish before I leave on my trip next week?….I’ll make a list. Where did I want to go after the UK?…Don’t plan, just let it happen. I need to be sure not to spend my whole day on Twitter, or teaching myself the blog business…Why?…Why?…Why, do I need to do that?…Because you need to focus on your writing…Why?…Because that’s how you want to make a living…Hmmm…So why don’t I find a way to make a living using the blogging business too?…Yes. Why don’t I?…Why keep trying to change myself, rather than changing how I make my living?…Right. I’ll investigate that.

This is how I came to realize that I continue to try to force a life on myself, rather than allowing one to unfold naturally. I need a constant reminder to be who I am, and to be open to what (and who) shows up. So many of us are trained to live up to other’s expectations of us, and to hurry up about it, that we can barely see who we really are. Rather than choosing a career based on what’s hip or makes the most money, why not see what your strengths are, and do that for a living? Rather than looking for a mate, and changing to be the “right” woman or man for them, why not pursue your own personal interests, and see who you meet?

To this end, there are two things I’ll be doing today. The first is to ask myself what I do when I don’t HAVE to do anything. What do I love doing? What makes the hours go by like minutes, and can I make a living at it? The second is to review my results from “Now, Discover Your Strengths” by Marcus Buckingham & Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D., to remind myself of what I need from a job, rather than focusing only on what a job needs from me.

I’ll also be doing a great deal more daydreaming.

Photo by Tim McFarlane