100 Ways To Be Elegant

by DeeAnne on 11/06/2010

Jennifer Aniston

1. Send thank you notes

2. Practice good posture

3. Speak more softly

4. Listen without interrupting

5. Wear solid colours

6. Ignore fads, or use them sparingly

7. Have a signature wine that you serve at home

8. Wear only 2-3 accessories

9. Have impeccable manners

10. Read on a variety of topics

11. Maintain a budget

12. Study the arts

13. Have one signature perfume/cologne

14. Show restraint in expressing anger

15. Learn the art of conversation

16. Learn French

17. Wear a trench coat

18. Learn how to wear a scarf

19. Wear a tuxedo, when one is called for

20. Practice quality over quantity

21. Don’t yell or scream

22. Learn to dance the waltz

23. Have one fabulous signature meal you serve guests

24. Remember birthdays

25. Go on picnics

26. Wear dresses/suits more often, and on dates

27. Simplify your life, your home and your calendar

28. Wear pearls

29. Open the door for ladies

30. Let him open the door for you

31. Remember that it’s more important to be kind than it is to be right

32. Serve coffee or tea after meals

33. Arrive exactly on time

34. Don’t complain

35. Dress to travel

36. Be well travelled

37. If you’re a women, don’t wear black shoes between Memorial Day and Labor Day…wear spectator pumps instead

38. Keep your home clean and uncluttered

39. When guests stay over, put a small pitcher and glass for water on their nightstand, along with a book they might enjoy

40. Learn how to host a small dinner party

41. Have one subdued solid colour scheme throughout your home, use accessories to add colour

42. Learn how to make the perfect martini

43. Learn how to tie both a regular tie and a bow tie (whether you’re a man or a woman)

44. Be a lady or a gentleman at work, especially when delivering a difficult message or when tempers flare

45. Wear lovely/handsome hats

46. Don’t point out the mistakes of others

47. Wait your turn patiently

48. Don’t curse

49. Chew each bite 20 times

50. Sip your drink

51. Learn proper etiquette for all situations

52. Accept compliments graciously

53. Be quietly self confident

54. Don’t boast

55. Be respectful of others

56. Have fresh flowers in your home

57. Write a letter rather than send an email to those you love

58. Keep your nails well manicured

59. Maintain your shoes and clothing

60. Don’t ever lose your joie de vivre

61. Be well groomed

62. Remember that money does not equal elegance, nor is it necessary to be elegant

63. Wear less make-up

64. Wear well-fitting clothes

65. Spray lavender on your sheets

66. Be positive

67. Learn to politely say no

68. Be concerned with making others feel comfortable

69. Maintain good health

70. Don’t overindulge

71. Hold yourself to high standards

72. Turn your mobile off at dinner

73. Wear simple, classic hairstyles

74. Think before you speak or act. Ask yourself, can anything good come from this?

75. Apoligize sincerely

76. Have integrity

77. Don’t speak ill of others, or gossip

78. Always take a gift to your host or hostess

79. Tie a scarf on your handbag

80. Take a clutch in the evening

81. Wear well fitting jeans with either a long sleeve white shirt or solid sweater for more casual events

82. Only wear sneakers for exercise

83. Use white sheets, white towels, white dishes

84. Be sure your clothes are pressed

85. Your car’s horn should say “pardon me, but do you see me?”, rather than “get out of my way!”

86. Overdo empathy

87. Light candles in your home

88. Go for walks in the park on Sunday

89. Give others sincere compliments

90. Understand your own worth

91. Learn how to open a bottle of champagne

92. Dress appropriately for the occasion

93. Do small favours for others, without expecting anything in return

94. Say please and thank you

95. Take the time to stop and listen to others, especially children

96. Take responsibility for yourself and your own happiness

97. Keep a journal

98. Give thoughtful gifts, rather than expensive ones

99. Less is more

100. Savour the moment


photo credit unknown



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{ 56 comments… read them below or add one }

Donna June 11, 2010 at 09:14

Loved this…it brought a smile to my face! I was reminded of a family I knew in elementary school…they did not have alot of money, but you just knew they had so many riches. I remember the children would come to school in freshly washed and crisply ironed clothes, shined shoes, clean hair…even if they only had a couple of outfits. Their home had shiny hardwood floors, fresh garden flowers and something was always cooking on the stove and smelled so good. Such a simple and elegant life as you would say…:). XO!


DeeAnne June 11, 2010 at 10:29

I love that story Donna!

Have a lovely weekend in your favourite spot!



stella November 6, 2013 at 20:27


I enjoyed your list. In item # 75 apologize is misspelled.



priyanka October 21, 2013 at 10:11

Ahhhhhhhhhh . Small story from your past .. And soo beautiful to read .


Nalani December 29, 2013 at 22:35

I enjoyed this too :) awesome share


Bob Bielecki June 11, 2010 at 09:30

With your permission , I will go with Watch for #28 ….not that I couldn’t rock a set of pearls!!!


DeeAnne June 11, 2010 at 10:29

I’ve always thought that if any man could rock pearls, it would be you Bob!



Jamie June 11, 2010 at 14:41

I love this. Love it so much.

And what I love even more than this is your new British way of writing: “Apoligise” “savour” “favour”

We’ve lost you to the Brits. Ah. It was only a matter of time I suppose…


DeeAnne June 12, 2010 at 02:45


Spellcheck is a whole different thing these days!

Love you x


Kelsey June 11, 2010 at 16:49

Love, love, love this!!!

Will specifically work on #’s 22, 42, 56, and 88 this summer.

Such a fantastic Friday find, thank you!


DeeAnne June 12, 2010 at 02:46

So happy you enjoyed it Kelsey, and very nice ones to work on ;-)


Donna June 11, 2010 at 17:53

Lol…I noticed the British invasion too! I have a little of that left over from my Hongkong days! Number 83 is so me…white is the only colour! Xo!


Susan Nye June 11, 2010 at 20:14

Thank you … you forgot no white shoes or spectator pumps before Memorial Day or after Labor Day. Have a lovely weekend, Susan


DeeAnne June 12, 2010 at 02:48

ahhhh…spectator pumps. tres elegant!

Very best wishes Susan,



tinagleisner June 12, 2010 at 06:00

Too funny all the rules women used to follow. It’s a different world today and changing more each day that soon what we believe is normal won’t be (maybe that’s true for how our kids look at us already?)


Easy and Elegant Life June 14, 2010 at 18:54

Very, very nicely put. May I share your list, with full attribution of course, with my readers?


DeeAnne June 15, 2010 at 02:16

Thank you very much for the kind words. It would be lovely of you to share it, too!

Very best,


Grace Boyle June 15, 2010 at 16:21

Ah, I absolutely love this! It’s incredible and makes me proud to be a woman :)


DeeAnne June 16, 2010 at 04:11

Thank you so much Grace! So very lovely of you to share that comment.



Trinidad Pena June 15, 2010 at 22:19

I LOVE THIS. This is a long lost art. You mind if I repost it on my blog http://thebudgetsocialite.com/ ? Crediting you and linking to your site, of course!

I especially like #31, 60, 82, and 96! I’m sorry for commenting twice. I had to fix my spelling errors. #101 should be use proper spelling and grammar. Ha!


DeeAnne June 16, 2010 at 04:01

Thank you so much for your kind comments Trinidad! It would be an honour to have my post shared on your blog. (I also love your suggestion for #101…I struggle there, too!)

Very warm regards,


Theresa June 16, 2010 at 03:07

I loved this!!! I have always loved your blog now I want to follow you and spead the news. Please add me to your list! Jamie Varon (My daughter) showed me your blog a while ago when she was developing the site and I have always loved the design.


DeeAnne June 16, 2010 at 04:14

I’ve been dying to meet you Theresa! You have the most wonderful, brilliant, beautiful, funny, kind daughter! You’ve really done a great job with that one, and you should be very proud.

Thank you so much for your kind comments on the post! Jamie said that you loved the design as much as I did, and I’m so happy you’ve decided to follow and spread the word! I look forward to getting to know you!

Very best,


Theresa June 19, 2010 at 02:34

Thank you for your compliment about Jamie! I love her so! I am looking forward to meeting you!
BTW I had all the girls that work for me read your post so they can clean up their pretty little asses..What!? Did I… I mean… so they can be lovely…. elegant and classy!!

They loved it and they are following you too!!


DeeAnne June 21, 2010 at 05:37

Thank you for sharing my site, and the post! I’m happy to hear that everyone is enjoying it, and that you all probably had a bit of a laugh (as I did), about all the elegant things we DON’T do. It’s definitely an ongoing search, and goal, for me.

See you in London!


Maureen June 16, 2010 at 13:20

Fabulous list, DeeAnne! I enjoyed reading all the suggestions. Well done!


DailyDivaDish June 16, 2010 at 14:42

This is a beautiful list!
XO Piper


Caitlin June 18, 2010 at 18:23

I love this! Many women forget the importance of elegance, I love the design of the website as well.


DeeAnne June 21, 2010 at 05:39

I think you’re right, Caitlin. Many men and women forget the importance of elegance, and all it can add to our lives and to the lives of those around us.

Thank you so much for the compliment on the website, too. The content is mine, but the gorgeous design is the work of Jamie Varon of Shatterboxx.

Very best,


The Mrs. June 21, 2010 at 19:40

I love this list! Too fabulous!


van June 29, 2010 at 05:06

thank you for this list! i especially like the one with spraying lavender on sheets. I love lavender so much i named my website after it.

thanks again!
My Lavender Fields


Jennie B July 13, 2010 at 16:24

This is another fabulous list! I’ve sent this to at least ten different people to share. Thanks so much! *besos Jennie B


Simply Luxurious (Shannon) July 18, 2010 at 04:59

This is lovely – truly lovely. I will be printing this off and posting it in my office as reminder. I found myself nodding my head the entire time. Well done. (Oh, and thank you for turning me on to The White Company – I hadn’t heard of them before, but it looks like the perfect store for my tastes (white bathroom, white sheets, white plates).
I am thoroughly enjoying your writings. Take care. -S


Sweet Freak December 10, 2010 at 10:55

Whew! Great tips, but that’s a lot of learning. Simply Luxurious has the right idea – I’ll have to print it and put it near my bathroom mirror as a daily reminder. Merci!


DeeAnne December 10, 2010 at 16:20

It’s a lifetime list for me!



Isabel June 15, 2011 at 15:58

Such a simple, but quality life! I love meeting such genuine souls as these, and yourself of course! Lovely


Erika July 30, 2011 at 06:39

I wrote my own list of 100 things, and one of them was that I wanted to be elegant. Now I have the instruction manual. :)


DeeAnne August 1, 2011 at 15:55

Thank you for the kind comment, Erika! I can’t wait to hear how your journey to elegance goes, and what you’d add/subtract form the list!



Wayne September 21, 2011 at 03:26

I stumbled upon this from google and from the looks of it, I see this blog might be tailored to women, but every man can learn a lot from this list.

Thank you, thank you, thank you :)


DeeAnne September 21, 2011 at 08:31

Thank you Wayne. What a very kind comment!

Best regards,


Olga September 26, 2011 at 18:26

DeAnne, I absolutely love everything on this list! Love it! Love it! Love it! I can do this!


Euphemia December 14, 2011 at 21:14

Oh my goodness, thank you for this. I have an important event ahead of me and this list reminded me who I am, what I value and how far I’ve come. My nerves are soothed and my confidence restored. Phewf! I’m keeping this list close at hand.


DeeAnne December 20, 2011 at 09:10

Thank you Euphemia, and I hope you enjoy your event!

Best wishes,


JUDY RYAN June 15, 2012 at 18:35



Fiona @ Everyday Spiritual Wisdom June 18, 2012 at 13:33

Beautiful, absolutely beautiful and reading your list of 100 has inspired me :)

Thanks to The Simply Luxurious Life for highlighting your blog in her newsletter, I’ll be signing up right now.

I think I’ll be off to clear the clutter and write a thank you note,x


Natalie June 18, 2012 at 17:11

Thank you so much for this list. LOVE it. It’s perfect! Promising myself to review it often.


Fabianne January 19, 2013 at 23:09

Hi Deanne,

I agree with everything thing you’ve pointed out. Expertly written! Thank you for sharing this timeless tips.


DeeAnne January 22, 2013 at 11:16

Thank you so much for your very kind words!

My best wishes,



Murphy V. April 17, 2013 at 22:47

I loved this. Thank you. I’m nearly completely caught up with school, my house is perfectly tidy and now I can be socially respectable as well, thanks to this post!

I’m not sure if I’ll be able to keep up with 45 but I’ll certainly try!

-Murphy V.


DeeAnne April 18, 2013 at 15:21

Hello Murphy,

Thank you for the very kind comment, and I’m so happy that you enjoyed the post, but you sound like a very warm, thoughtful and conscientious person, and that’s what makes you so very much more than just socially respectable!

My very best wishes,


Kathryn July 29, 2013 at 02:16

How my mother was raised and tried to raise me. How America used to be! What ever happened to manners and graciousness? Thank you for posting! NOW, would love to see How to be a Gentleman for the gents!


DeeAnne August 2, 2013 at 18:14

So happy that you enjoyed, and the men’s version is now up!

Have a lovely weekend,


Carolinr July 31, 2013 at 01:12

Lovely, thoughtful, worthwhile. Bravo!


DeeAnne August 2, 2013 at 18:14

Many thanks!

My best,


Helene Mary November 6, 2013 at 18:38

Several days have attending the funeral of my mother,would died suddenly in a tragic car accident. A close friend of mine said to me that his wife describe me as elegant. This kind comment gave me such comfort. I so wanted my mom funeral to be exactly as she wanted. This gave me such comfort, in a time of such despair. Words can be so powerful. People are sometimes unaware of what a impact they can have on your self-worth. Kindness and compassion both in acts and words can change your outlook on yourself and others.


Sastique January 8, 2014 at 10:31

Wonderful list. Thoroughly enjoyed reading through them. Not too sure about the image portraying elegance though…then again who doesn’t love Jennifer Aniston ;)

Love your website too. I’ll be coming back for more!
-Amber M.


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