2. Practice good posture
3. Speak more softly
4. Listen without interrupting
5. Wear solid colours
6. Ignore fads, or use them sparingly
7. Have a signature wine that you serve at home
8. Wear only 2-3 accessories
9. Have impeccable manners
10. Read on a variety of topics
11. Maintain a budget
12. Study the arts
13. Have one signature perfume/cologne
14. Show restraint in expressing anger
15. Learn the art of conversation
16. Learn French
17. Wear a trench coat
18. Learn how to wear a scarf
19. Wear a tuxedo when one is called for
20. Practice quality over quantity
21. Don’t yell or scream
22. Learn to dance the waltz
23. Have one fabulous signature meal you serve guests
24. Remember birthdays
25. Go on picnics
26. Wear dresses/suits more often, and on dates
27. Simplify your life, your home and your calendar
28. Wear pearls
29. Open the door for ladies
30. Let him open the door for you
31. Remember that it’s more important to be kind than to be right
32. Serve coffee or tea after meals
33. Arrive exactly on time
34. Don’t complain
35. Dress to travel
36. Be well travelled
37. Don’t wear black shoes between Memorial Day and Labor Day
38. Keep your home clean and uncluttered
39. Put a book they might enjoy, and a small pitcher of water and a glass on guest room nightstands when guests stay over
40. Learn how to host a small dinner party
41. Have one subdued solid colour scheme throughout your home, use accessories to add colour
42. Learn how to make a martini
43. Learn how to tie both a regular tie and a bow tie (whether you’re a man or a woman)
44. Be a lady or a gentleman at work, especially when delivering a difficult message or when tempers flare
45. Wear lovely/handsome hats
46. Don’t point out the mistakes of others
47. Wait your turn patiently
48. Don’t curse
49. Chew each bite 20 times
50. Sip your drink
51. Learn proper etiquette for all situations
52. Accept compliments graciously
53. Be quietly self confident
54. Don’t boast
55. Be respectful of others
56. Have fresh flowers in your home
57. Write a letter rather than send an email to those you love
58. Keep your nails well manicured
59. Maintain your shoes and clothing
60. Don’t ever lose your joie de vivre
61. Be well groomed
62. Remember that money does not equal elegance, nor is it necessary to be elegant
63. Wear less make-up
64. Wear well-fitting clothes
65. Spray lavender on your sheets
66. Be positive
67. Learn to politely say no
68. Be concerned with others feeling comfortable
69. Maintain good health
70. Don’t overindulge
71. Hold yourself to high standards
72. Turn your mobile off at dinner
73. Wear simple, classic hairstyles
74. Think before you speak or act. Ask yourself, can anything good come from this?
75. Apoligise sincerely
76. Have integrity
77. Don’t speak ill of others or gossip
78. Always take a gift to your host/hostess
79. Tie a scarf on your handbag
80. Take a clutch in the evening
81. Wear well fitting jeans with either a long sleeve white shirt or solid sweater for more casual events
82. Only wear sneakers for exercise
83. Use white sheets, white towels, white dishes
84. Be sure your clothes are ironed
85. Your car’s horn should say “pardon me, but do you see me?”, rather than “get out of my way!”
86. Overdo empathy
87. Light candles in your home
88. Go for walks in the park on Sunday
89. Give others sincere compliments
90. Understand your own worth
91. Learn how to open a bottle of champagne
92. Dress appropriately for the occasion
93. Do small favours for others
94. Say please and thank you
95. Take the time to stop and listen to others, especially children
96. Take responsibility for yourself and your own happiness
97. Keep a journal
98. Give thoughtful gifts, rather than expensive ones
99. Less is more
100. Savour the moment
Elegance is refusal. ~Coco Chanel

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{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }
Loved this…it brought a smile to my face! I was reminded of a family I knew in elementary school…they did not have alot of money, but you just knew they had so many riches. I remember the children would come to school in freshly washed and crisply ironed clothes, shined shoes, clean hair…even if they only had a couple of outfits. Their home had shiny hardwood floors, fresh garden flowers and something was always cooking on the stove and smelled so good. Such a simple and elegant life as you would say…:). XO!
I love that story Donna!
Have a lovely weekend in your favourite spot!
D
With your permission , I will go with Watch for #28 ….not that I couldn’t rock a set of pearls!!!
I’ve always thought that if any man could rock pearls, it would be you Bob!
Best,
D
I love this. Love it so much.
And what I love even more than this is your new British way of writing: “Apoligise” “savour” “favour”
We’ve lost you to the Brits. Ah. It was only a matter of time I suppose…
haha.
Spellcheck is a whole different thing these days!
Love you x
Love, love, love this!!!
Will specifically work on #’s 22, 42, 56, and 88 this summer.
Such a fantastic Friday find, thank you!
So happy you enjoyed it Kelsey, and very nice ones to work on
Lol…I noticed the British invasion too! I have a little of that left over from my Hongkong days! Number 83 is so me…white is the only colour! Xo!
Thank you … you forgot no white shoes or spectator pumps before Memorial Day or after Labor Day. Have a lovely weekend, Susan
ahhhh…spectator pumps. tres elegant!
Very best wishes Susan,
D
Too funny all the rules women used to follow. It’s a different world today and changing more each day that soon what we believe is normal won’t be (maybe that’s true for how our kids look at us already?)
Very, very nicely put. May I share your list, with full attribution of course, with my readers?
Thank you very much for the kind words. It would be lovely of you to share it, too!
Very best,
D
Ah, I absolutely love this! It’s incredible and makes me proud to be a woman
Thank you so much Grace! So very lovely of you to share that comment.
xoxo,
D
I LOVE THIS. This is a long lost art. You mind if I repost it on my blog http://thebudgetsocialite.com/ ? Crediting you and linking to your site, of course!
I especially like #31, 60, 82, and 96! I’m sorry for commenting twice. I had to fix my spelling errors. #101 should be use proper spelling and grammar. Ha!
Thank you so much for your kind comments Trinidad! It would be an honour to have my post shared on your blog. (I also love your suggestion for #101…I struggle there, too!)
Very warm regards,
DeeAnne
I loved this!!! I have always loved your blog now I want to follow you and spead the news. Please add me to your list! Jamie Varon (My daughter) showed me your blog a while ago when she was developing the site and I have always loved the design.
I’ve been dying to meet you Theresa! You have the most wonderful, brilliant, beautiful, funny, kind daughter! You’ve really done a great job with that one, and you should be very proud.
Thank you so much for your kind comments on the post! Jamie said that you loved the design as much as I did, and I’m so happy you’ve decided to follow and spread the word! I look forward to getting to know you!
Very best,
D
Thank you for your compliment about Jamie! I love her so! I am looking forward to meeting you!
BTW I had all the girls that work for me read your post so they can clean up their pretty little asses..What!? Did I… I mean… so they can be lovely…. elegant and classy!!
They loved it and they are following you too!!
Thank you for sharing my site, and the post! I’m happy to hear that everyone is enjoying it, and that you all probably had a bit of a laugh (as I did), about all the elegant things we DON’T do. It’s definitely an ongoing search, and goal, for me.
See you in London!
Fabulous list, DeeAnne! I enjoyed reading all the suggestions. Well done!
This is a beautiful list!
XO Piper
I love this! Many women forget the importance of elegance, I love the design of the website as well.
I think you’re right, Caitlin. Many men and women forget the importance of elegance, and all it can add to our lives and to the lives of those around us.
Thank you so much for the compliment on the website, too. The content is mine, but the gorgeous design is the work of Jamie Varon of Shatterboxx.
Very best,
D
I love this list! Too fabulous!
thank you for this list! i especially like the one with spraying lavender on sheets. I love lavender so much i named my website after it.
thanks again!
vanessa
My Lavender Fields
This is another fabulous list! I’ve sent this to at least ten different people to share. Thanks so much! *besos Jennie B
This is lovely – truly lovely. I will be printing this off and posting it in my office as reminder. I found myself nodding my head the entire time. Well done. (Oh, and thank you for turning me on to The White Company – I hadn’t heard of them before, but it looks like the perfect store for my tastes (white bathroom, white sheets, white plates).
I am thoroughly enjoying your writings. Take care. -S