Comments on: Is There a Modern Day Fairy Tale?

By: Five Fabulous Bloggers I Love | Small Hands, Big Ideas

Five Fabulous Bloggers I Love | Small Hands, Big Ideas — Wed, 25 May 2011 16:08:02 +0000

[...] Three favorite posts: A Love Letter To My Girlfriends. Searching for Serendipity. Is There a Modern Day Fairy Tale? [...]

By: Lessons on love learned from Julia Child — Live The Charmed Life

Lessons on love learned from Julia Child — Live The Charmed Life — Thu, 23 Sep 2010 13:44:33 +0000

[...] 6. It is possible, as I once asked in a post, to have a Modern Day Fairy Tale. [...]

By: Love & The Lifestyle Designer — Live The Charmed Life

Love & The Lifestyle Designer — Live The Charmed Life — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 17:49:16 +0000

[...] and care for the right relationship once it’s found, and hopefully make it into the sort of modern day fairy tale that we all dream of [...]

By: Friday Linky Love | Small Hands, Big Ideas

Friday Linky Love | Small Hands, Big Ideas — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 16:58:23 +0000

[...] 1. Live the Charmed Life: Is There a Modern Day Fairy Tale? [...]

By: DeeAnne

DeeAnne — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 23:28:32 +0000

I’m so happy you enjoyed the post! I think you’ve hit it dead on…vulnerability strikes fear into the most fearless of human beings, yet there is no other way to truly have the sort of relationship that many of us dream of. Can we give up everything, to get everything and more in return? I don’t think it’s a one and done decision either. It appears to be a decision that successful couples make on a daily (or minute by minute?) basis.

Thank you for your comment,

By: Cynthia

Cynthia — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 01:08:12 +0000

What a timely and well said post Deeane..

In reading your post and people’s comments, I couldn’t help but come to this one thought.

To believe in the fairy tale means to be vulnerable.

This is not a comfortable place for many of us who have been time and time again been in less then ideal relationship situations. However I am beginning to understand the necessity of consciously accepting on this one particular quality when dealing with another on a meaningful and worthwhile plane of existence.

So like you said it’s not the fairy tale itself that’s irrelevent but perhaps our understanding of what it takes for the fairy tale to be real in our lives.

Thanks again for the great read.

By: Elisa

Elisa — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 22:50:22 +0000

As someone who has been single for a very long time because I can’t even commit to a shade of lipgloss, I can attest that one of the deepest connections one can have to another human being is to need them. It’s also one of the scariest (one that I have obviously not mastered yet.)

I’m baffled by this new wave of feminism that suddenly doesn’t NEED men to do anything. People (male and female) who are “perfectly happy and content on their own and have too much to do in their own life to bother with relationships.” Folks that seem to sneer down their nose at the idea of a fairy tale romance and love with someone. A friend describes his mate as someone he can fall deliriously in love with. That seems nice to me. I agree so much…the fairy tale isn’t the problem, it’s our inability to believe in it and play the part. Which is unfortunate…life is our story to write, why not pen a tale of extraordinary love?

By: Grace Boyle

Grace Boyle — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 22:41:18 +0000

This is beautiful! I consider myself a “hopeless romantic,” but why does it have to be hopeless? Maybe because I’m a woman but I am idyllic and always believe there’s that one true love out there and of course there will be issues, but I believe in a partnership that is equal. Sometimes I think it’s too much to ask…but I still am trusting.

My modern day fairytale involves independence, empathy, understanding that we each are strong individuals, but also that we each contribute to each other. So (hypothetically) if the male happens to financially contribute, I would hope the female contributes in the household, helps to raise their kids, takes care of other important issues around the house and family. Really, both are needed. Sacrifice is part of relationships, but it’s sacrifice you’re willing to and want to take.

I think as I’ve grown up the fairytale still exists and I don’t want to settle, but it’s not a cartoon, it’s real life. I WANT the disagreements, I want the passionate arguments, I want a partner where we work through things and ride the waves together always infused with love. That’s my fairytale ending.

Thanks for writing this beautiful post, I love it.

By: DeeAnne

DeeAnne — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 12:09:39 +0000

Hello Keith!
I think your quote of “To me, there’s no place for egos or pride in any fairy tale.” is profound. If you want the fairy tale, as many say they do, then you have to check the ego/pride. Not an easy thing for human beings.
I’m glad you picked up on my point of the people being flawed, and not the fairy tale, too. For me, this is what makes love remarkable. The fact that two completely flawed individuals can join together to make something pretty special is so lovely. The idea of two PERFECT people, making something PERFECT (the classic fairy tale), seems completely boring and unappealing to me. On the other hand, as soon as you stop looking for perfect, you can find something so interesting and uniquely your own!
Thank you for the thoughtful comments!
xoxo,
D

By: Keith

Keith — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 10:59:08 +0000

Hi DeeAnne,
I believe that it’s important to feel needed, especially in a relationship. That’s what it’s all about isn’t it? Sharing, caring, loving, compromising, and being there for one another. Going back to that couple you met in Edinburgh, I think that ego and pride certainly are important aspects to consider when one has to ‘give up’ something. As two successful people, it is obviously difficult to accept giving up something you’ve worked so hard at, but it has to be done. Her husband’s remark must’ve felt like a blow (even if he meant it well) to someone who’s worked so hard to be self-sufficient, hence her comment, which must’ve felt like a double-blow to him! I strongly believe that this couple need to work out these aspects or the resentment will grow and that’s a recipe for disaster.
To me, there’s no place for egos or pride in any fairy tale. So you are right, it’s the people who are flawed, not the fairy tale.